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7 Naughty Nemo fan fiction story lines that will blow your mind

Think that it’s impossible for Disney’s wholesome plotline in Finding Nemo to be turned into dark stories of cheating, murder, illicit drug use and sex? Think again!

The internet is rife with fan fiction that turns the plight of the little orange fish named Nemo into tales about the seedy underbelly of the deep sea. Here are some of the craziest plots.

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1. Nemo resorts to defiant behavior as a coping mechanism

In You Just Can’t, Nemo, the once-sweet little fish is living the rebellious life because of his troubled past and his difficulty accepting his father’s fiancée, Dory. He’s been to jail and admits he has a bit of a death wish. Nemo is cool and aloof. He’s like the aquatic version of James Dean.

Highlights: “He’s been hyped up over his engagement to his new fiancée, Dory,” Nemo says of his dad. “I can’t stand that bitch. Yeah, I know that she loses her memory easily, and that’s cool with me. She’s just really f***ing annoying. I feel like she’s stolen my father from me, but that’s not too important. Without him always watching over me, I can do whatever I want.”

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2. Nemo is committed to a mental institution

Though the plot of Call Me Ishmael doesn’t reveal exactly why Nemo has been institutionalized, we’re left to infer that it’s because of his kidnapping. The story walks the reader through Nemo’s first day in the hospital and all the horrors that lie within the walls.

Highlights: “It was a place people were taken when the world wanted them forgotten, when all hope for salvation had been exhausted, and when all matter of familial relations had finally declined contact for the first time.”

3. Nemo ditches his wife for some fresh tail

Return to Sydney takes place long after the end of the original Finding Nemo and Nemo is now married with a family of his own. Everything is copacetic in his life, but he finds himself yearning for more. One night, facing some trepidation about leaving his family, he sets out to see what he can get into at the drop-off and meets an exciting half-fish, half-human creature.

Highlights: “The creature moaned and he swam back a bit. Eyelashes fluttered as eyelids opened. ‘My name is Marina,’ she said. ‘I’m a little lost, so I was only taking a nap.'”

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4. Nemo and Gill get it on

In Nom ‘Nom Sweet Fish Cupcake, there’s not so much a plotline as there is one massive lovemaking scene between the two “love fish.”

Highlights: “I am Gill, and I am quite manly. Do you see this scar, here? Right here? Yea… that’s right… touch it…”

5. Nemo and Gill fall in love

Nemo and Gill discover they are in love at Marlin and Dory’s wedding, much to the groom’s dismay in Dory and Marlin’s Wedding. Antics ensue.

Highlights: “‘It is you!’ Nemo exclaimed. Then they kissed and more sparkly things appeared! ‘Yay!’ Dory said happily, ‘Does this mean there are going to be two weddings?'”

6. Nemo dies before the story begins

In the sad prequel to the franchise, Sorrow Under the Sea, Nemo dies before the story can even get started and we’re forced to imagine a world without Finding Nemo.

Highlights: “‘I love you, Nemo,’ Marlin admitted softly, holding Nemo’s lucky fin. ‘I love you and I always will.'”

7. Nemo turns to a dangerous existence of drugs and prostitution

Haunted by his past and unable to move forward due to the traumatizing visions that he just can’t seem to shake, Nemo is unable to hold a job or maintain any relationships. He disowns his family and lives in the dodgy part of the drop-off for a bit before settling in by the docks. He’s forced to turn tricks at the oil rigs and begins to develop a dangerous habit of doing lines (of fishing wire).

Highlights: A lonely John with a heart-of-gold named Edward invites Nemo to stay in his fancy coral hotel. The two fall in love and Edward rescues Nemo from his hard life on the streets. Just kidding. That’s Pretty Woman.

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