Skip to main content Skip to header navigation

16 Lies Clueless told us about high school

I labored under the belief that high-schoolers had loqued out Jeeps and wild house parties every night, and I couldn’t wait. It wasn’t until my freshman year that I realized I was totally buggin’. We were all lied to.

As a middle-schooler in the ’90s, Clueless was my guide to high school. It represented everything I could look forward to — a time to leave Trapper Keepers behind and refine my interests among my older, more mature peers. Perhaps I would meet a nice boy at the mall, for instance, after purchasing a marabou boa to match my brand-new high school clothes.

More: Iggy Azalea as Cher Horowitz for Clueless-inspired “Fancy” music video

1. Everyone has a car in high school

clueless jeep crash gif


Pretty much no one I knew drove to high school until they were a senior, and then it was usually in a beat up Geo Storm, at best.

2. You can wear whatever you want

brittany murphy clueless gif


As long as it fits the rigorous dress code.

3. You can wear whatever you want, and no one will make fun of you

dionne clueless gif


Only Dionne could wear this hat with impunity. Snaps, girl.

4. High school relationships were complex, lasting affairs

dionne kissing donald faison clueless gif


For like, a week.

5. High school teachers were way more lenient, and kind of stupid

Cher clueless school gif


Cher would have failed my high school English class, unsolicited matchmaking notwithstanding.

6. Truancy is no big deal

cher clueless black and white gif


Especially if you don’t mind getting arrested.

7. A whole new world of slang awaited us

clueless cher totally buggin gif


The surest way to identify yourself as a freshman was to use “buggin'” unironically.

8. Parties! Parties every weekend!

cher smoking weed clueless gif


Really intense ragers that included four of your friends sitting on a couch in your basement watching TV and drinking peach Schnapps if you were hard-core.

More: Alicia Silverstone joins the Mommalogues

9. Being a new kid is easy, if you make friends with the popular crowd

brittany murphy clueless gif


All you need is a makeover.

10. It’s totally OK to dance like this:

brittany murphy dancing clueless gif


It is not. Ever.

11. Flirting is easy

cher clueless flirting


Anything that brings attention to the mouth is good.

12. High school fashion is high fashion

cher curtsy clueless gif


Haute couture pajama bottoms and hoodies, amirite?

On StyleCaster: All of Cher Horowitz’s outfits from Clueless

13. High-schoolers were so deep

dionne cher lunch clueless gif


Everyone loves a little light amateur psychology.

14. Party games are a thing that happen

clueless party gif


My favorite one was, “Stand very still against a wall until it’s time to leave.”

15. Teachers were so understanding

clueless cher crimson wave gif


As long as you had a really good, humorous excuse for being late.

16. I’m still waiting for one of these:

cher wardrobe computer clueless gif


But it’s not like I’m bitter or anything, OK?

Leave a Comment

Comments are closed.