How to handle a naked photo scandal

If you’re a celebrity and your nude photos have been leaked online, keep your cool. There is a way to emerge from the scandal victorious and with an ounce of grace.

Photo courtesy of Dan Jackman / WENN.com

This is probably the highest violation of privacy ever. A user on 4chan — an image-sharing forum — has posted numerous private (and nude) photos of Jennifer Lawrence, Ariana Grande, Victoria Justice and Kate Upton, after allegedly hacking into the Apple iCloud service. Well, this will certainly make many Apple users rethink the use of the mysterious iCloud.

This horribly criminal hacking operation reportedly involves 101 celebrities in total, but the rest of the photos have yet to be leaked. Other victims of the photo-stealing scheme include Rihanna, Kirsten Dunst, Cara Delevingne, Kim Kardashian, Kate Hudson and Selena Gomez. Apple has yet to comment on the involvement of iCloud in this massive photo leak.

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“This is a flagrant violation of privacy. The authorities have been contacted and will prosecute anyone who posts the stolen photos of Jennifer Lawrence,” a spokesperson for Lawrence stated.

While representatives of Grande and Justice have denied claims that the leaked photos are real, Lawrence’s spokesperson confirmed their authenticity. Which, of course, is very confusing. Are the photos in the leak real or not? Either way, those responsible need to be prosecuted.

Since this might be a first nude photo “scandal” for several celebrities targeted in the leak, we decided to help them out by offering a fail-proof guide to surviving this breach of privacy with dignity intact. You are welcome.

1. Deny until you die

We respect Lawrence’s honesty, but in Hollywood, denial is your best friend. You will never need to explain anything if you simply say the person in the leaked photos is not you. Maybe it’s a look-alike. This gives the police time to find the culprit and saves you from insistent questioning.

2. Class it up

This is a typical celebrity move post-nude scandal. Dress like you’re running a political campaign. No one will ever dare to think of leaked nekkid photos if you dress like Hillary Clinton. So class it up, and deny everything.

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3. Support a good cause

No offence, but the general public is not the sharpest tool in the shed. Distract the public eye with a good deed. Promote a charity, hold a gala — give the media something else to talk about other than your private bits.

4. Don’t do it again

This strategy is only as good as you are. If a celebrity’s private social media account is hacked once, it will be forgotten. But if it’s only the beginning of a streak, then your reputation will take a massive hit. Find a different way to share saucy photos with others, and eliminate the possibility of their ever getting into the wrong hands again.

What do you think of this photo leak? How can celebrities avoid having their personal internet accounts hacked?

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