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Miley Cyrus is the best party person in history

If you had to choose a celebrity to party with, who would it be? We obviously choose Miley Cyrus. She is the best party animal on the scene today.

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Everybody knows Miley Cyrus is not a tame individual. She’s like a rainbow stuffed into a canon of unpredictability, wrapped in glitter ribbons and coated in sparkles. The singer’s Instagram account is a glorious testament to her wild nature and reverence for her own nudity (which is cool with us — love your body!), like the recent photos of Cyrus on a camping trip with a gang of buddies. Boy, there’s a lot going on there!

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And as much smack as Miley gets for being naked and outspoken, if we had to choose a celebrity to blow our tops with, we would be hard pressed to find someone more fun than Cyrus. Hence, we’ve placed this gal at the top of our list and publicly declare her the best star to party with. It’s not really up for debate, but we will provide our reasons.

1. She is not afraid to pop a squat
If we ever had to go camping with our friends, we would like to think they would be comfortable enough to cuddle up to a tree and do their business. Not only is Cyrus comfortable doing that, but she is more than happy to share the deed with the world via Instagram. That sits well in our books.

2. She would explore abandoned houses with you
Maybe we would have too much to drink, or maybe we’d be feeling adventurous that day, but we can always rely on Miley to climb into a dilapidated building with us. That’s what we call a “free spirit,” y’all! Sure, it could end in our untimely deaths, but at least we were having fun.

3. She can handle moonshine
If we ever had to battle the Canadian wilderness together on a camping trip or just sit back in our backyards, we would like to “do it up” with someone capable of stomaching moonshine. That’s real love. If someone drinks moonshine for you, then that person is obviously a keeper. It might be akin to drinking varnish remover, but we know Miley would never let us down. We’d probably explore some abandoned houses that night too…

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4. She can tattoo you for free
Everybody knows a good party ends with a tattoo you have no recollection of getting. Not only will Cyrus support that notion, but she will tattoo you herself. What more do you need?

5. She is a master accessorizer
When you’re falling over from too much moonshine or bored out of your mind at a party, Miley will help you out. You may not know this, but she is a master of accessories. Whether it’s beading your hair, clipping in a bun or making bracelets, this girl will show you how to have a good time with just some accessory-making kits.

6. She will write you a party anthem
Haven’t you always wanted your very own party anthem? Miley Cyrus can write one for you. It will be awesome, and she can even sing it as you run with sparklers through the streets of your city — without any pants on. That is what great parties are made of.

Which celebrity would you like to party with?

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