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The Adam Levine Marriage Survival Kit

It happened. This love has taken its toll on Adam Levine and he is now officially married to Behati Prinsloo. Fear not, we’re here to help you make it through the heartache.

Photo courtesy of C.Smith/

Sorry, ladies, but Adam Levine is now a married man. Cue the sound of broken glass, crying babies and nails on a chalkboard. It’s OK. We will get through this. We promise.

The Maroon 5 front man married model Behati Prinsloo in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico, on Saturday night in front of 300 guests, which included Robert Downey Jr., Jonah Hill, Jason Segel and pretty much all of the Victoria’s Secret models. Is anyone else surprised that Robert Downey Jr. was there?

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The wedding was reportedly officiated by Hill, who brought on the laughs big time. Prinsloo wore a stunning Marchesa spaghetti strap gown, while Levine wore a fitted tuxedo. The bridesmaids also wore white and the groomsmen sported black Hawaiian print shirts with black trousers. In lieu of gifts, all guests were requested to make a donation to the Children’s Hospital in Los Angeles.

Now, onto the important stuff… You guys, Adam Levine is married! We seem to be running out of good-lookin’ single men to ogle in the celebrity world; it’s time for some fresh blood. Naturally, we’re a little bummed out right now — since we’ve had a crush on Levine since 2004 — just like millions of other women around the world. We’ll make it through though, like warrior poets. We have a pretty solid coping method (and no, it’s not just denial and a lot of crying).

1. Listen to this

Video courtesy of Maroon 5 VEVO/YouTube

2. Remember his flaws

Adam Levine
Photo courtesy of Brian To/

The best way to get over Levine is to humanize him; he wasn’t perfect after all. First of all, he dyed his hair blond. And not even well. Come on, that should be enough to ruin the crush forever. Plus, he likes to date Victoria’s Secret models. You deserve better.

3. But also remember whom he is marrying

Behati Prinsloo
Photo courtesy of Andres Otero/

Sure, we’re jealous. But can we really blame him? Have you seen Behati Prinsloo? The Namibian model is gorgeous and has the coolest accent in the business. No joke. We’d marry her too.

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4. Eat some confectionery goods

Adam Levine
Photo courtesy of Daniel Tanner/

Nothing fixes a problem better than a pound of sugary baked goods. You’ll forget all about Adam Whatshisface and Behati Somegirl, after three muffins and half a tub of chocolate swirl ice cream. Trust us, we’re veterans of sugar binges.

5. Fake it, ’til you make it

Adam Levine
Photo courtesy of Ivan Nikolov/

It will take some time to fully distance yourself from your love for Adam, but it will happen. Until then, think happy thoughts, take up knitting and look for a new hottie to pine for.

How will you be getting over Adam? How do you feel about the wedding? Are they the perfect couple?

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