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9 Jobs that can be enhanced with the magic of rap

After viewing that amazing video of a doctor rapping to a little girl, we were inspired. What if other professions used rap to ease tension and brighten someone’s day?
www.youtube.com/embed/VX1e-pt7lwc

Video courtesy of YouTube

OK, if you haven’t seen it already, a viral video is making rounds on the great internet, showcasing the coolest doctor (a staff sergeant-orthopaedic specialist) in the entire universe rapping care instructions to a young patient with an awesome pink cast. Take a look at the video above, and be amazed by this genius.

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It’s concise, comprehensive and educational, no? Not to mention catchy! Obviously we couldn’t just let this go, since we find the concept so brilliant, so we’ve compiled a humble list of other professions we would like to be bedazzled with some sweet, sweet rhymes. Life would just be so much better this way…  

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1. Gynecologist

Nobody enjoys going to the gynecologist, unless cold metal instruments (wielded by a stranger) on your intimate bits is your thang. But wouldn’t your experience be much more relaxed if the doctor just rapped the procedure to you?

Sample lyric: “OK, now I’ll be using this big, giant metal speculum/ Your clothes are in the way, please hold on to them.”

2. Hairstylist

Hairstylists tend to be sassy already, but there’s something about their swagger in combination with some lyrical creativity that makes the idea irresistible. It would be like a rap musical… Just imagine!

Sample lyric: “Oh my God, who did you hair?/ A messy nest, this just ain’t fair!”

3. Highway patrol

A lot of tension can be avoided if the atmosphere when being pulled over was a little more relaxed. We say highway patrol officers should employ rapping as a method of communication with drivers. Plus, it would be more fun.

Sample lyric: “Do you know how fast you were going, eh?/ The highway was rattling under the speed of your car, m’kay?”

4. Barista

Baristas are already pretty upbeat (caffeine might have something to do with it), but we feel our lives would be even more elevated if these folks rapped our orders too. Then again, we might be getting greedy…

Sample lyric: “A double-shot-extra-foam-extra-hot-no-whip-vanilla latte, right?/ Holy mother, I want to quit this flipping job and I just might!”

5. Telemarketer

Nobody likes them. Nobody. Unless you’re a sick, twisted individual. That said, the world would be a better place if these people at least rapped their telemarketing business to us.

Sample lyric: “Hi, would you like to buy a bunch of stuff nobody wants through your landline?/ If you say no, I’ll just call endlessly until the end of time, so that’s just fine.”

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6. Your boss

Your boss will be less intimidating if he or she just rapped a little. Office parties and getting fired would just be way more pleasant, no?

Sample lyric: “Yo, buddy, you’re so fired!/ Pack your desk, you make me tired!”

7. Bank teller

OK, we can do the bank teller and even the whole bank system. Standing in line and making transfers would be so much easier if we all could just drop a rhyme. Or is that just us?

Sample lyric: “Hello, I’m Melissa, how can I help you today?/ I can deposit, make transfers, take money that lay in your way, OK?”

8. Flight attendant

Handing out gross food and giving instructions on how to properly tuck your head in in case of a crash landing would be a bit more cheerful with the use of some good old-fashioned rap. Oh, life…

Sample lyric: “If we crash, I can’t help you at all/ But read this booklet and don’t sue if we fall.”

9. Prime minister

And by prime minister, we really mean Stephen Harper, because that would be the best day of our lives. Foreign policies and taxation discussed in rhyme would make politics as exciting as a rodeo.

Sample lyric: “Whoa, Russia is out of G8, wassup?/ Pour more of that wine into my political cup.”

You are welcome to add more rhyming and rapping ideas to our list. Actually, please do.

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