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Katy Perry and John Mayer split! 6 Sappy songs to heal our hearts

What’s the point of anything? If you haven’t heard, Katy Perry and John Mayer have split up. We have a few songs to help us survive this traumatic event.

Katy Perry, John Mayer

Oh, darkness reigns over our kingdom! It appears that Katy Perry and John Mayer have split up — yet again. Taking our precious little hearts and shattering them to pieces, then setting those pieces on fire before running them through a meat grinder… Too dramatic? OK, maybe.

Per E! News, the couple parted ways a few days ago despite fervent engagement rumours (and Katy’s honking diamond ring on that finger). This would obviously explain Perry’s recent solo outings in London and Milan, but we still can’t believe it’s true!

They walked the red carpet together, did interviews together and even recorded “Who You Love” together! We thought they were soul mates, and now we have nobody to root for. Cue the biggest sad face in the universe.

Katy Perry unveils art for “Dark Horse” >>

The couple started dating in the summer of 2012, then broke up, then reconciled, then broke up, then reconciled and have now broken up again. Is it crazy to think they might reconcile once more? Because we’re starting to see a pattern here.

We refuse to give in to the melancholy cloud hanging over us right now or mourn the death of our dream to see team Perry-Mayer become the next power couple. So we’ve created an inspirational playlist of eternal hope to keep the flame alive (great for menial tasks too)! You are welcome to sing along.

Sheryl Crow — “Strong Enough”

Because Sheryl Crow knows what’s up and will give you all the hope you need to move on. Sheryl, you sweet angel, you.

Bob Marley — “Could You Be Loved”

Could you? Could you be loved? This song always makes the world a better place. Bob Marley is a magician, and that’s just a fact.

Ben E. King — “Stand By Me”

We recommend doing a solo slow dance to this song; it really elevates the experience. Singing along is optional but encouraged.

Katy Perry and other famous lip-synchers >>

Gloria Gaynor — “I Will Survive”

This is best listened to whilst wearing spandex leotards and leg warmers, but this is just our suggestion. No song has made us more pumped up to win at life than this one.

U2 — “Beautiful Day”

Because you know what? It is a beautiful day! And don’t you let it get away. You know everything is going to be OK when Bono tells you so. Let’s do this!

Louis Armstrong — “What a Wonderful World”

This song turns every person in the world into a puddle of butter, because it’s amazing. We just want to frolic through fields of daisies and stare at rainbows.

Which song helps you out of the blues?

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Photo courtesy of Nikki Nelson /

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