We all know zombies are just a myth, right? Or do we? In February this year in Parliament, the hot topic up for discussion was a zombie apocalypse. New Democratic Parliament member Pat Martin challenged Foreign Minister John Baird’s preparedness for a zombie invasion. Baird promised Canada would never become a safe haven for zombies. If you’re worried about a zombie pandemic, you can learn how to survive by watching zombie movies.
How to survive
a zombie outbreak
Know what kind of zombies you’re dealing with
Not all zombies are created equal. In World War Z, the Brad Pitt zombie movie due for release on June 21, 2013, the zombies aren’t the usual rigor mortis–riddled sort that stagger like arthritic drunks; they’re super hyped, and they’re insane in the brain. These frenzied undead have no respect for their own bodies and will do anything to get to their prey, even if it includes smashing their heads through car windows. They can leap, jump really high, and they come in swarms. Nothing short of an arsenal of heavy-duty military-style weaponry will save your bacon.
Do lots of cardio
According to Columbus from Zombieland (2009), you need to be able to run. If you haven’t already joined a gym or don’t work out on a regular basis, there’s no time like the present. However, being fast on your feet and able to outrun the zombies aren’t enough.
Know how to act like a zombie
If you’re unexpectedly surrounded by zombies, the best way to survive is to act like one. Warm Bodies (2013) and Shaun of the Dead (2004) both use this technique. Use slow, arthritic-type movements, and groan like you have a terrible stomach ache, but “don’t be too creepy,” warns R, the character Nicholas Hoult plays in Warm Bodies.
Never let your guard down
If you learn anything from the TV series The Walking Dead, it should be to never let your guard down. You should be in survival mode 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Forget getting involved in three-way love triangles or relaxing just because you’re back at your camp. Zombies aren’t the only threat — you also need to be wary of survivors who are not part of your pack.
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Don’t get within biting range
You only have to watch Night of the Living Dead (1968) to know you shouldn’t get within biting range. Dress in long sleeves and long pants to protect your limbs from bites. Even tuck your socks into your pants. You might be committing a fashion crime, but at least you won’t be another crime statistic.
Canadian Parliament debates Canada’s readiness for a zombie invasion:
Are you ready for a zombie invasion? Tell us your top tips in the comment box below.