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9 Irrational thoughts you have while watching Gilmore Girls

Despite her frigid relationship with her mother, her terrible relationship history and that whole “16 and pregnant” thing, Lorelai Gilmore had a pretty cool life. So cool, in fact, that it’s hard not to watch Gilmore Girls without becoming convinced you could live that life.

Now that Gilmore Girls is on Netflix for all our binge-watching pleasures, I find I’m spending a lot less time working but a lot more time watching… and daydreaming. As I make my way through those quick-witted conversations and earth-shattering heartbreaks, I can’t help but come face to face with these irrational thoughts.

1. I wanna run an inn!

Lorelai makes running an inn look so cool! Persnickety front desk help? Play tricks on him and tease him mercilessly. Fire at the inn? Sleep over! Even when things truly are terrible, Lorelai always finds an out: A windfall of money or a burly cafe owner who can fix the problem. Rest assured: This is not real life.

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2. I should be a chef

I mean… maybe. Who are you to judge what I’m capable of? As a matter of fact, rich-fast food chains are becoming popular while the general population of Americans becomes fatter. Maybe I’ll go for it. I’ll take some cooking classes. Prepare better, healthier meals for the family. Just to be safe, I’m won’t quit my day job… yet.

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3. I could totally be an awesome single mom

Considering that I’m 30 and most likely #ForeverAlone… there’s a distinct possibility that “single mom” might be the only kind of mom I’ll ever be. I’m not sure I can guarantee awesome, though. After all, I’m a writer. So, maybe I’ll hold out for a couple more years. Plus, being a mom is hard! (So I’ve heard on Facebook, like, every day.)

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4. I bet if I picked up and moved to a small town, someone would take me under their wing

Please. I’m 30. I can barely get my parents to do that anymore. Any small favor becomes a speech that is basically summed up with, “Look at your life. Look at your choices.” Plus, let’s be real: I just don’t have that kind of faith in humanity. Stars Hollow is less realistic than “happily ever after.”

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5. I want a guy just like Dean

Dean is an amazing boyfriend on paper. Kind, loving, dedicated. He’d do anything and everything for Rory and regularly does. But, c’mon ladies. Chances are that, by now, you’ve dated a guy like Dean. He’s sweet… but he’s needy. It’s like having a puppy that follows you everywhere, but without the fluffiness and velvety ears. No thanks.

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6. No, no… I want a dude like Jess

Bad boys. I loved them until I realized that, in most instances, that “cool and unaffected” personality eventually turns to moody and is only truly unaffected when I’m still swooning over him and he’s getting his way. The minute shit gets real, that bad boy turns into a loud, stubborn man-child with a bad attitude and no direction. I’ll pass.

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7. Ah, screw it. Just give me Luke

Luke was certainly surly, but he was also genuinely good. He was surly about rules being broken and his customers not behaving like decent human beings. He did, however, have a heart of gold. He was sarcastic and fiercely independent but reliable and caring. OK, actually… my desire for a Luke-type-boyfriend is completely rational.

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8. I wish I’d gone to private school

Plaid skirts! Pithy teachers! Cafeterias that look like mini-Hogwarts! What more could a girl ask for? Oh, yeah. Her classmates were vapid. Plus, she was always so stressed out. Too much pressure for me. I did just fine with a public school education. Now, to encourage the return of the plaid skirt trend.

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9. If I’d applied myself, I could have gone to Yale, too

Hahahahahahaha! Nope.

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What are you thinking when you’re watching Gilmore Girls? Tell us below. But, please, for the love of Kirk, don’t act on those whims.

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