The ’80s were wild, free and sexed up… but we may not have realized it as kids at the time. These days, old familiar songs pop on and we begin to jam and mumble along. Soon enough, though, we realize just how wildly ridiculous it was for kids to sing those charged-up lyrics. Here’s what we mean.
“Come On Eileen” – Dexys Midnight Runners
“Come on Eileen
Oh, I swear what he means (what he means)
At this moment you mean everything
You in that dress
My thoughts I confess
Verge on dirty
Oh, come on Eileen”
Easy enough to decode.
“Take On Me” – A-ha
“Today isn’t my day to find you
I’ll be coming for your love, OK?
“Take on me (take on me),
Take me on (take on me)
I’ll be gone
In a day or two”
Y’all, they’re basically singing about a one-night stand. And you know we used to shriek along to the high notes.
“Walk This Way” – Aerosmith
“Backstroke lover always hidin’ ‘neath the covers
Till I talked to your daddy, he say
He said, ‘You ain’t seen nothin’ till you’re down on a muffin
Then you’re sure to be a-changin’ your ways'”
This, legitimately, is the least inappropriate part of the entire song.
“Dancing in the Dark” – Bruce Springsteen
“Hey baby I’m just about starving tonight
I’m dying for some action
I’m sick of sitting ’round here trying to write this book
I need a love reaction
Come on now baby gimme just one look
“You can’t start a fire sitting ’round cryin’ over a broken heart
This gun’s for hire
Even if we’re just dancin’ in the dark”
The Boss is looking for a rebound. Interested?
“Like a Virgin” – Madonna
“Like a virgin
Touched for the very first time
Like a virgin
When your heart beats next to mine.”
Who was singing this song before they even knew what a virgin was?
“(You Gotta) Fight for Your Right (to Party!)” – Beastie Boys
“You pops caught you smoking and he said, ‘No way!’
That hypocrite smokes two packs a day
Man, living at home is such a drag
Now your mom threw away your best porno mag (Busted!)”
Man, we screamed this so loud and thought we were so cool. (Busted!)
“Faith” – George Michael
“Well I guess it would be nice
If I could touch your body
I know not everybody
Has got a body like you”
Years later, a whole new generation sang this song when Limp Bizkit covered it.
“White Wedding” – Billy Idol
“Hey little sister, what have you done?
Hey little sister, who’s the only one?
Hey little sister, who’s your superman?
Hey little sister, who’s the one you want?
Hey little sister, shotgun”
Shotgun wedding, right?
“I Want Candy” – Bow Wow Wow
“Candy on the beach, there’s nothing better
But I like candy when it’s wrapped in a sweater
Someday soon I’ll make you mine,
Then I’ll have candy all the time”
Clearly not talking about candy.
“I Want Your Sex” – George Michael
Do we even need to quote this song? You know the lyrics.
“Never Say Never” – Romeo Void
“The slump by the courthouse
With windburn skin
That man could give a f***
About the grin on your face
As you walk by, randy as a goat
He’s sleepin’ on papers
When he’d be warm in your coat
“I might like you better
If we slept together”
We’ve felt this way about a lot of people now that we’re adults. Is it possible Romeo Void brainwashed us in our youth?
What makes your list of wildly or inadvertently inappropriate songs? Tell us what we missed below.