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How New Girl‘s breast reduction plot killed my self-esteem

Before I begin, let me start by saying that I’m not hating on girls with small breasts. All I’m saying is, I feel a little judged because of my big ones… and I’m blaming New Girl for the feels.

There’s always a lot happening on New Girl and it always cracks me up. This week, though, I’m just feeling insulted and a little like a freak. During the episode, Cece (Hannah Simone) confides in Jess that she’s thinking of having a breast reduction. She cites back problems in her family and, yes, that’s a legitimate issue for big-breasted women. Here’s the issue, though (and, no, it’s not Schmidt’s reaction): Cece doesn’t have big boobs.

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I can say that because I have big boobs. Like, real big boobs. Growing up, our church youth group banned two-piece bathing suits. For me, that meant years of having to buy a one-piece that fit the t*** but sagged in the ass. It’s hard to rock what the good Lord gave you when there’s an inch of fabric just hanging off your butt. You put a normal Old Navy V-neck on an average-breasted girl and you get a little cleavage in certain instances, but she’s mostly pretty modest. With my rack, I can work that V-neck at a club if I accessorize right. There’s just no containing them without pretty much living in a pullover hoodie. And, yes, I occasionally get backaches. But, not enough to ever consider a beast reduction.

So, when Cece spouted on and on about her oh-so-cumbersome breasts that are considerably smaller than mine… I kind of felt like a circus freak. Should I be concerned about my boobs? Are they more out of control than I originally thought? Clearly, the writers and producers at New Girl would think so.

PS: Don’t call Christina Hendricks “full-figured”

But my issue with this story line goes beyond my personal feelings. I also think it’s a comment (and a bad one at that) on celebrity body image. We women continue to push for real girls and celebrity girls to be judged less on our looks and more on our abilities and, yet, our pleas are continuously ignored. Have you ever read an article about Mad Men‘s Christina Hendricks that didn’t mention her chest? She doesn’t like it. And, yes, in a lot of instances, it’s complimentary. But, she’s a great actress. She has talent! And, beauty wise, she also has a gorgeous face and killer hair. Why the f*** are we still talking about her chest?

Oh, that’s right. Because other, less-informed entities are still talking about their boobs. Listening to Cece talk about her “big boobs” was more frustrating than if she’d talked about how she was “fat.” It’s not cool. Stop creating fake problems in order to propel your character and your television show forward. In the process, you’re opening up more discussion on everyone else’s breasts. You’re putting in place an idea of what is considered “big” and what isn’t. You’ve now made it possible for some ignoramus to use fake worry as a way to talk about other actresses’ breasts. Just stop. Seriously.

I get it: Schmidt’s reaction was hilarious. And, yes, we all have dudes in our lives who would react similarly if we suggested such things. But, in the process of getting a laugh, you’ve severely set back the positive body image issue. Was it worth it? I don’t think so.

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