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You won’t see Jamie Dornan’s junk in 50 Shades — but you can here

Hey Fifty Shades of Grey fans, we’re sorry to tell you, but the movie version of E L James’ erotic novel may not be as steamy as you expected.

Jamie Dornan gives more than lady boners in Fifty Shades

Why, you ask? Well, Jamie Dornan, who stars as the lead character Christian Grey, has just revealed that his penis will be a no-show. Speaking during an interview with The Guardian, the actor explained why there will be no full-frontal scenes in the film.

“You want to appeal to as wide an audience as possible without grossing them out,” the British hunk told the publication. “You don’t want to make something gratuitous, ugly and graphic.

“There were contracts in place that said that viewers wouldn’t be seeing my, um…” Todger? (British slang for penis) The Guardian asked. “Yeah, my todger,” Dornan replied with a laugh.

5 Things about Fifty Shades that probably left Charlie Hunnam reaching for Xanax

The publication went on to tell Dornan that he’s nothing like Ewan McGregor, who is willing to show his man bits at every possible opportunity.

“Does he? Well, maybe Ewan has a more impressive girth,” Dornan joked.

But we’ve seen Dornan’s girth. And if you did have your hearts set on seeing the actor’s junk, we’ve found a place where you, too, can see it. All you have to do is Google “visionaire jamie dornan” and you’ll get pictures of Dornan’s nude photo shoot. You’re welcome.

But back to filming sex scenes: it’s not quite as exciting as you may think.

“Anyone who thinks actors get turned on doing sex scenes in films is mistaken,” Dornan explained to The Guardian. “There are dozens of hairy men standing around, moving cables and lighting equipment. That’s not sexy unless you’re into being watched, which I’m not.”

Jamie Dornan dishes on his luck with the ladies

The star also told the publication that he knows not everyone is going to love him taking on the role of sadomasochistic, billionaire lover Christian Grey.

“I am never going to please all 100 million people who read the book,” he says. “I’ll be lucky if half that number are happy with me playing Christian Grey. I know there are campaigns of hate against me already.”

Perhaps even more women will be disappointed with the choice now that there are no full-frontal scenes. Just kidding — we can’t wait to see Dornan hit the big screen next Valentine’s Day.

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