We’re not sure how Tori Spelling, with all her “poor rich girl,” overly dramatic bulls***, still manages to make us feel sorry for her, but we do. She makes us want to grab her by the arm, sit her down, and share these five fundamental ideas from Life 101.
You don’t have to be a trained psychologist to see that Spelling‘s husband, Dean McDermott, is poison and their relationship has become toxic. While we admire Spelling for trying everything she can to honor her marriage vows and keep her family together, the truth is that McDermott is a cheating, narcissistic, (allegedly recovering) addict. If you watched Spelling’s docudrama True Tori, you quickly realized that McDermott makes everything about himself. Spelling already has four kids, she doesn’t need another one.
Get a new therapist
Forgive us, but is it OK to say out loud that we really question the effectiveness of Spelling’s therapist, Dr. Ann Wexler? Spelling has been seeing Wexler for years, and Wexler has been counseling Spelling and McDermott through their tumultuous marriage. Yet for all Wexler’s therapy, Spelling’s life is a complete train wreck. There may come a day when your long-time therapist knows so much about you that they lose their objectivity, and consequently, their effectiveness. To deal with the difficult decisions Spelling faces and her addiction to attention-getting stunts (pregnancy and Ebola scares), she needs some tough love.
Move in with her mom
Spelling’s relationship with her mother has been strained at times over the years, but the two seem to have reached an understanding. When life hits the skids, especially as profoundly as it has in Spelling’s case, it’s time to call in the troops. Those troops include friends, siblings (if you have them), a good therapist and your mom. This may provide an excellent opportunity for the Spelling women to mend fences and give Tori a soft, supportive and financially secure place to land while she gets her s*** together. There’s no shame in returning to the nest to regroup, no matter how old you are or how many kids you have.
Get help with the kids
Even if Spelling weren’t dealing with an incompetent man-child, keeping up with four kids would be enough to drive any woman to the brink. It’s a tremendous amount of relentless work and because little, fragile personalities are involved, you’re not allowed to have a bad day. As a mother of one, two or four kids, you always have to bring your A game. Whether it’s her mother, an aunt, or a hired caregiver, Spelling needs help — not because her life is mess, but because of the size of her brood. She’s outnumbered.
After watching True Tori, it’s fairly evident that there is an unhealthy codependency between Spelling and McDermott. Those habits can be incredibly hard to break, because that dependency is not unlike an addiction to drugs or alcohol. You know it’s bad for you, but you go back to it time and again. If Spelling can learn to compartmentalize her feelings for her troubled husband and date other guys, she’ll break her unhealthy addiction to him, his crap and all the drama that comes with it. Flirting and being desired by other men will help Spelling realize that she doesn’t have to suffer with a man who can’t pull it together.