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Evidence Jay Leno and Mark Twain are basically the same person (QUOTES)

Jay Leno was honored with the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor on Sunday, and it turns out the two wordsmiths have a lot in common.

Leno’s name isn’t usually synonymous with Mark Twain, but when we found out that the comedian was given an honor in the author’s name, we had to dig a little deeper. Would Leno and Twain have gotten along if they were both alive these days? The answer might surprise you.

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We dug up some quotes by both men and discovered they seemed to have similar opinions on a few subjects.

Idiots and God

Mark Twain: In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.

Jay Leno: The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn’t for any religious reasons. They couldn’t find three wise men and a virgin.

Friends and laughter

Mark Twain: The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.

Jay Leno: You can’t stay mad at somebody who makes you laugh.

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Junk food

Mark Twain: The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like and do what you’d rather not.

Jay Leno: I went into a McDonald’s yesterday and said, “I’d like some fries.” The girl at the counter said, “Would you like some fries with that?”


Mark Twain: Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising.

Jay Leno: In America, we like everyone to know about the good work we’re doing anonymously.


Mark Twain: Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself.

Jay Leno: More coming out about Saddam Hussein. We now know he takes Viagra and he has as many as six mistresses. No wonder Congress is reluctant to take action against this guy — he’s one of their own.

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Mark Twain: My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.

Jay Leno: You’re not famous until my mother has heard of you.

Who knew Mark Twain and Jay Leno had so much in common?

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