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Scandal: Smelly Mellie may take back her family post-Eiffel Towering tape

Oh, man the chaos in this episode. I have so many feelings.

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The recap: Fitz’s daughter, Karen, ditches her security detail to go to a party, proceeds to sleep with two dudes at once out of grief for her dead brother and calls Olivia when she realizes she is too drunk to get out undetected.

Fitz goes on a rampage to disappear the video, and Olivia has to handle it. Cyrus continues to be duped by Portia de Rossi’s prostitute pawn. There is a near-sex session between Olitz. Mellie freaks out that Liv is in the building. Fitz freaks out that Liv was with Jake on the island instead of #foreveralone for two months.

Papa Pope is out for Jake’s blood and using Tom, the security detail, as a scapegoat. Jake is in Papa Pope’s custody. He doesn’t show up for Liv’s dinner.

I’m sorry, I’m so unimpressed by Karen’s Eiffel Towering. Yes, she’s underage. Yes, she’s the president’s daughter. But Mellie said it best: “It’s definitely sexist. If you were a boy, they’d be giving you high fives. But you’re not. So your knees will have to stay together.” Hey, Prez — you passed gun control (something our own president hasn’t been able to do.) Since we’re living in fantasyland, how about some female-forward policy, too? Thanks.

More feelings:

1. Fitz’s daughter Karen calls Olivia over calling her own parents. Burn.

2. Cyrus holds a phone like an alien undercover agent.

3. Moral question: Your kid has a sex tape. You need to deal with it. But: Do you have to watch it? I’m thinking… nope. And yet Fitz did. What does this mean?!

4. #realtalk: “Have you ever thought what it must be like to be Olivia Pope? It doesn’t sound like that much fun.” True. Go back to the island with Jake the “good” murderer and let’s call this a wrap. Bye!

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5. Jake Ballard appreciates beer and nice weather. “If you’re going to kill me… maybe not today? It’s nice out.”

6. Eiffel Towering. You don’t need Urban Dictionary. You already know.

7. There was a lot of unwanted grabbing. Fitz? Mellie? Lay off Olivia, folks. You’ve seen this face, right??

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8. “I’m a failure as a father. And clearly we can all agree I’m a failure as a husband.” Is this a makeout session? Seriously? How is this a turn-on!?

9. The look on the greedy parents’ faces when Olivia took photos of them for the tabloids. Handled.

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10. Olivia seems to try to have a normal relationship with Jake. Too bad he’s going to die. Or is he? What do you think? Sound off in the comments section below!

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