John Oliver walks into a Starbucks — and we know for sure what he isn’t ordering.
The Last Week Tonight host took the holiday weekend off, but he did drop a web exclusive video in which he “investigates” the most divisive topic of the year: pumpkin spice.
“Look, it’s the middle of October, which across the nation means we’re all looking at this and thinking, ‘I don’t know why, but I simply have to drink that,'” Oliver says, pointing to a photo of a couple of pumpkins.
“What is strange is that pumpkin spice foods inexplicably seem to grow more omnipresent every year, even though there’s no actual pumpkins in the drinks,” he continues. “Kind of like how everyone you meet calls himself a DJ all of a sudden, but what they really mean is they own an iPod and have been to a party.”
John Oliver, known for his pithy takes on some of the most controversial topics in the news — everything from drone strikes to police militarization — makes a lot of good points. His awesome video on the Miss America Pageant’s bogus claims about scholarship money blew up on social media, and for good reason. But on such an important subject as the merits of pumpkin spice, John Oliver is 100 percent wrong. Pumpkin spice is a rare, seasonal treat and, whether it actually contains pumpkin or not, it is delicious. Who doesn’t like cinnamon and nutmeg? Has John Oliver even had a pumpkin spice latte? They’re delightful!
Even though he’s completely, inexcusably wrong about pumpkin spice, his video does open our eyes to one pretty shocking fact: Apparently, the average American eats five pounds of pumpkin each year. That’s a whole lot of pumpkin, especially when you take into consideration that all those lattes that don’t contain real pumpkin aren’t contributing to the total. Maybe we can all lay off the pie just a little bit this year? Or not, because like pumpkin spice, pumpkin pie is absolutely delicious.