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F*** cancer! 12 Morrissey quotes proving he can fight anything

If you’d all please join us in bowing your heads. We need to pray to all the rock gods on behalf of Morrissey and his fight against cancer.

A Spanish paper is reporting that The Smiths front man Morrissey told them he has undergone multiple treatments for cancer. According to El Mundo, Morrissey claimed doctors have gone in numerous times to “scrape” off cancerous tissue. In pure Moz form, he seemed to shrug off concern for his health and has plans to continue his tour, which will stretch into December.

Earlier this summer, Moz Man collapsed at a U.S. concert

Morrissey doesn’t seem too concerned about his health, but should we worry? Um, no. The Pope of Mope has proven time and time again that he’s tough enough to take care of himself. He’s constantly puffing up his chest in an effort to remind everyone he’s still relevant and still ready to pounce. Someone has to say the things he thinks we’re thinking, right?

The most Moz of Morrissey quotes

“If I were knocked down tomorrow by a passing train, I would be considered the most important artist ever in the history of English pop music. That’s just a rough guess.”

“The fire in the belly is essential, otherwise you become Michael Bublé — famous and meaningless.”

“If I met [comedian] Vic Reeves, I’d have no desire other than to smack him in the face.”

“When I’m lying in my bed I think about life and I think about death and neither one particularly appeals to me.”

“[Elton John] is pushing his face in all the time and telling us about his private life. Nobody’s interested. He should just go away.”

“All human activity is fruitless when pitted against the girls and boys singing on pop television, for they have found the answer as the rest of us search for the question. I will sing, too. If not, I will have to die.”

Ouch. Double pneumonia can’t dampen Morrissey’s sarcasm

“Doing nothing gives me great pleasure. And believe me, I succeed wonderfully in it.”

“Nothing is important, so people, realizing that, should get on with their lives. Go mad, take their clothes off, jump in the canal, jump into one of those supermarket trolleys, race around the supermarket and steal Mars bars and kiss kittens.”

“Long hair is an unpardonable offense which should be punishable by death.”

“I would rather eat my own testicles than reform The Smiths, and that’s saying something for a vegetarian.”

“When they bury me in a church and chuck earth on my grave, I’d like the words ‘Well, at least he tried’ engraved on my tombstone.”

And to anyone who doesn’t like Morrissey: Don’t worry, he understands

“Whenever I’d overhear how people found me to be ‘a bit much’ (which is the gentle way of saying the word ‘unbearable’), I understood why. To myself I would say: Well, yes of course I’m a bit much; if I weren’t, I would not be lit up by so many lights.”

Oh, Moz. Keep going to the doctor, please. We can’t imagine a world without your sass.

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