7 WTF quotes from Teresa and Joe Giudice's latest interview
Watch What Happens Live host Andy Cohen scored the first post-sentencing interview with The Real Housewives of New Jersey's Teresa and Joe Giudice Monday night. A few of the couple's responses were nothing short of baffling.
So who are we to say where someone's mind would be after they've just been sentenced to the big house for more counts of fraud than you can swing a bat at? In Cohen's interview, Teresa Giudice stammered through most of it with a deer-in-the-headlights look, and Joe Giudice looked uncomfortable. We're certain the couple was a little shook up having learned the day before that they are going to take turns in federal prison.
That stipulation aside, followers of the show know Teresa has an uncanny knack for blame-shifting and not accepting responsibility, and Joe projects this image of a big guy with a monumental chip on his shoulder. In the interview, the couple was given to the occasional moment of humility, but for the most part Teresa came off as clueless and Joe projected attitude as if he had better things to do with his time than wait for his turn to go to prison. Here are seven of our favorite quotes from Monday night's Andy Cohen interview.
"I do need to read things before I sign them"
This was Teresa's culpability in signing fraudulent documents. This couple has survived cheating scandals and now sentencing to federal prison. They're tight. Teresa expects us to believe Joe just slid a few bank papers across the breakfast bar, and she signed them without reading them? Evidently, the judge didn't buy that excuse either.
"I didn't understand that part"
Mrs. Giudice is referring to the plea bargain, the definition of which most of us learn when we're about 10 years old. This was one of several times Mama Giudice threw her attorneys under the bus.
"I don't spend money I don't have"
Teresa said this after Cohen asked Joe if he fraudulently borrowed money to keep Teresa in the lap of luxury. Technically, if you've borrowed money fraudulently that's stealing. If you steal something, that means it doesn't belong to you. Teresa has actually been spending money she doesn't have for years, which is why she's going to be donning an orange jumpsuit for 15 months.
"I felt like I got hit in the back of the neck with a bat"
This is how Joe says it felt after the judge sentenced him to 41 months in prison. This isn't a WTF quote, but when said in a New Jersey accent, it is kind of hilarious. Most of us would probably say something like, "I felt like I had the wind knocked out of me," or "I felt like I'd been kicked in the gut" or "I felt like I'd been hit by a truck." Is getting smacked in the back of the neck with a baseball bat a Jersey thing the rest of us aren't really familiar with?
"OK, whatever, I was taking out false loans"
Joe lost his patience with Cohen's pointed line of questioning and reverted back to his vintage short-fuse, tough guy attitude.
"They're my daughters... I'll do what I gotta do — I'll be the housewife"
Throughout the interview, Teresa said her primary concern is her daughters and how they'll be cared for while she's in prison. Joe's body language during this part of the conversation — where the enormity of caring for four girls all day is sinking in — is priceless. He started to shift and rubbed his eyes and came off as exasperated. It's obvious that playing full-time daddy to his offspring is a harsher sentence than 41 months in prison. If the judge really wanted to punish Joe, she should have given Teresa the longer sentence.
"If you stick me with a knife, I probably wouldn't even feel it"
This was more false bravado straight from Joe's mouth. Cohen asked each of them how they think they'll fare in prison, and Joe asserted he's not afraid of getting shanked.
Be sure to catch the second part of Cohen's interview with the Giudices Thursday at 9/8c on Bravo.