Weezer’s new album, Everything Will Be Alright in the End, is exactly the kind of rockin’ perfection we’d expect from Colin Meloy and the gang. And, ya know, we’re pretty sure they wrote it about us.
Rock stars always seem so special and different. It’s hard to imagine they’re capable of experiencing loneliness, failure or the urge to be heard. It turns out, though, that Weezer and front man, Rivers Cuomo, understand real life perfectly. I went track by track on Everything Will Be Alright in the End and pulled out the parts that hit me right in the feels.
“Ain’t Got Nobody”
Weezer hits the nail on the head. I ain’t got nobody to love, kiss and hug me. And, as Cuomo reflects…
“I’ve been so patient
All around the nation
There ain’t no one in all creation.”
“Back to the Shack”
“I had to go and make a few mistakes so I could find out who I am
I’m letting all of these feelings out even if it means I fail.”
Mistakes: I’ve made a few (thousand). Like that time I dyed my hair purple-y black. Now I’m blond. Blond is who I am.
“Eulogy for a Rock Band”
“Adios, rock band that we loved the most
This is a toast to what you did
And all that you were fighting for
Who could do more when
Time marches on
Words come and go
We will sing the melodies that you did long ago.”
Of course, it makes sense that the guys of Weezer would understand what it’s like to say goodbye to a favorite band. You don’t start a band without first being a huge music nerd. Here’s to all the bands we’ve called our “favorites.” I still love you… wherever you are. (I’m lookin’ at you, The Hard Richards!)
“I’m lonely, so hold me
Can’t you relieve?
I’m hurtin, I’m worthy
Can’t you relieve?”
Remember that time Cuomo channeled all my “forever alone” feels into one short song? This song should come with a pint of Häagen-Dazs and a terrible rom-com on DVD. It’s only fair.
“I’ve Had It Up To Here”
“Don’t want my ideas polluted by mediocrity
Don’t want my sentiments diluted
This is important to me.”
This. This speaks to/for me. Cuomo may be waxing annoyance about record labels and stupid people (like me) who want to give their opinions on the “right” kind of music he’s making. However, we’ve all felt this sense of defiance at some point in our lives.
“The British Are Coming”
“This is the night, light up the fire in the forge
We’re not the coins in the coffer of old King George.”
OK, OK. So, it’s harder to relate to this song. But, we appreciate Weezer’s attempt to relate to revolutionary Americans. Seriously. Best song ever written about this piece of history.
“Even Da Vinci couldn’t paint you
And Steven Hawking can’t explain you
Rosetta Stone cannot translate you
I’m at a loss for words.”
I’ve been in that type of love. I’m curious just how awesome this girl is, though: Cuomo sings of describing her to friends, who tell him to polish the lense. Sort of sounds like all the times I’ve fallen for assholes and my girlfriends disapproved.
Cuomo: “But my life is incomplete without you.”
Bethany Cosentino: “And you miss the little things that I do.”
This duet with Best Coast’s Cosentino is pretty damn amazing. It walks straight through the aftermath of an affair. “Go Away” starts with stubbornness and the determination to never forgive the loser. It ends, however, with Cuomo and Cosentino lamenting life without each other. Will she take him back? If she’s anything like me, uh, yeah. Probably. #FML
“We grow old, our hearts are dim
But our minds are free, to fly where they will
Your beauty is faded, you’re a broken shell
It’s only the weak that fall for your spell.”
This may or may not actually be about Cleopatra’s rule. It feels like the end of a relationship, though. Suddenly, the way he swishes his hands when he walks is annoying. And the way he whimpers when you “ignore” him just seems too pathetic. The spell is broken, the magic is gone. And I’ve got to get the hell out of here.
“Forgive your foolish father
He did the best that he could do
You are his daughter
He’d do anything for you
Think of how destroyed he feels
Walking to his grave plot
Knowing that the one he loves
Hates him with all of her heart.”
Dang it, Rivers! No. Don’t go there. I draw the line at family issues. Ugh.
Think I forgot “The Futurescope Trilogy”? Think, again. With sparse lyrics, though, I don’t have as much to say about them. Honestly, the thing I keep latching onto is how “The Futurescope Trilogy (II. Anonymous)” sounds like the title sequence for The Office. Too distracting to focus on anything else. Which, to me, just goes back to how Cuomo understands life and the struggle… of getting that stupid song out of your head. All in all, Everything Will Be Alright in the End is exactly the Weezer album fans have waited for and the one I needed to make it through the week.