All of Tim Burton's films ranked and summarized in 140 characters or less
With the news that Tim Burton has a new movie coming out, what better way to celebrate this maestro of movie magic than with a 140-character look back over his most remembered works?
Using a super high-tech formula that involved weighing monster makeup against plot and identifying the square root value of IMDB scores in relation to the sheer "Wow" power of Johnny Depp, we came up with an all-too subjective ranking system which we used to rate Burton's films from "meh" to amazing.
16. Planet of the Apes
Creepy apocalyptic screed about an inter-species romance between Helena Bonham Carter, an amorous chimp, and Mark Wahlberg.
15. Dark Shadows
Tim Burton proves he's not just about stop motion and Scissorhands in this moving film about monster moviemaker, Bela Lugosi.
14. Alice in Wonderland
Young girl goes on psychedelic adventure with creepy man wearing a top hat. *Movie is not about pedophilia... (repeat).*
13. Batman Returns
Michael Keaton proves he is still the best Batman and Danny DeVito wears the creepiest prosthetic nose ever invented.
12. Sleepy Hollow
Johnny Depp drinks lots of absinthe, chases a headless horsemen and unsettles everyone he meets.
11. Big Fish
Tim Burton makes us cry in this film about a son who finds redemption in his father's tall tales.
A stop motion cautionary tale about the dangers of loving your pets just a little too much.
9. Corpse Bride
A bumbling groom practicing his wedding vows in the forest winds up married to a jealous corpse.
8. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
Every dentist's worst nightmare.
7. Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street
Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter team up again; this time, in order to turn people into meat pies while singing.
6. Ed Wood
A mostly true biopic about Bela Lugosi and his monstrously unusual friends. Also, Johnny Depp.
5. Mars Attacks!
Aliens hate yodeling more than you do.
Michael Keaton is the best Batman.
3. Edward Scissorhands
There's no place like home. Until you die and get trapped there with rude New Yorkers and a crusty Michael Keaton hell-bent on haunting.
1. The Nightmare Before Christmas
Jack Skellington, king of Halloween Town, discovers Christmas Town, kidnaps Santa and ruins Christmas for millions of children.