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Frank Sinatra sang the worst song ever for Married… with Children

Sometimes our minds take us to strange places. Today, we started on the Hollywood Walk of Fame with Katey Sagal and ended by shaking our fists at Frank Sinatra.

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It was a bittersweet day today as a major part of our childhoods was both applauded and then ruined. Hollywood honored Married… with Children and Sons of Anarchy star, Katey Sagal, with a star on the coveted Walk of Fame. It’s placed right next to her TV husband Ed O’Neill’s star in pure Hollywood romance fashion. We couldn’t have been more happy for her and we even got a little teary listening to her former TV daughter, Christina Applegate, along with the rest of her television family, honor her with a few loving words. We wanted to show our own love and respect for Sagal and Married… and we began delving deep into the web for a unique spin.

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We got a little sidetracked, though, as we listened to the theme song on repeat. Here’s the thing: For all the swooning our parents and grandparents did over Frank Sinatra, he really dropped the ball on “Love and Marriage.” The Married… theme song is as basic, trite and ill-written as it gets. Take a look at some of the lyrics!

“Love and marriage, love and marriage
Go together like a horse and carriage
This I tell you brother
You can’t have one without the other.”

We know it was a simpler time when legendary music writer, Sammy Cahn, conjured up these lyrics in 1955, but c’mon! Anyone who can write something as fun as “Let it Snow! Let it Snow! Let it Snow!” and “Call Me Irresponsible” ought to be able to come up with something a little better than a rhyme as basic as “marriage” and “carriage.” It seems less inspired and more like a rhyme made from necessity. And, yeah, we’re more than a little disappointed that Frank Sinatra would even latch onto such a lame ditty. And, let’s be real, “Love and Marriage” is definitely more “ditty” than “song.” We really should have expected more from the famed leader of the Rat Pack.

Finally, we’re left with one simple question: Why “Love and Marriage?” The song is so basic and only vaguely relates to Married… with Children. Wouldn’t it have been better to hire someone to write a fresh theme? They could’ve helped pay someone’s extravagant Los Angeles rent instead of just adding to the Sinatra estate. We’re sure Fox had their reasons… we’re unsure they were worthy, though.

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