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Channing Tatum’s “The Dick Graze” makes us love him even more

Promoting movies with magazine interviews, red-carpet events and late-night appearances is so last year. Channing Tatum decided to promote the upcoming iTunes release of 22 Jump Street in his special and unique way, with a little rap called “The Dick Graze.”

In “The Dick Graze”, Tatum raps that waving and fist pounding is played out. And handshakes? Please. Who shakes hands anymore? The dick graze is hipper, funnier and there is no risk of spreading germs and viruses. It’s also quick and easy — just a quick skim of a guy’s junk says, “Hey Dude, how’s it hanging?” Tatum says this greeting is only for the boys, which 22 Jump Street co-star, Jillian Bell, objects to.

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Fear not, ladies. Our new secret handshake is the, um, “tit graze.” Already popular on college campuses everywhere, this gesture is executed by skimming your friend’s boob. You can see why these greetings do not cross gender lines. One gal’s handshake is another guy’s arrest for assault. At the end, we learn a valuable lesson about what happens when these salutations are not delivered correctly.

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This video is the most NSFW, funniest thing you will watch today.

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