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Wait, did George R.R. Martin just tease “lots of death” in new Game of Thrones book?

The always-surprising author George R.R. Martin shared some huge news today for fans of his series Game of Thrones. And by “huge,” we mean “hugely disappointing.” Martin announced that the latest installment in his series would have tons of death. Fans of Martin and the HBO series know: This is the least surprising announcement ever. As a matter of fact, even people who don’t give two hoots about the show still know Martin seems to get off on killing characters. That’s why he does it all the damn time. To help Martin understand just how useless that factoid was, we decided to share a few things that are more surprising than the many Game of Thrones deaths Martin has promised. Ready?

Martin admits some fan predictions are right >>

M&Ms have chocolate inside

Kim K

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George W. Bush can never be president again

Big Labowski

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Anderson Cooper is gay

Sponge Bob

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Owners say the inside of a Fiat is actually really small

Rocky Horror Picture Show

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Queen Elizabeth has no interest in the iron throne >>

Dudes loved Baywatch

Pete Campbell, Mad Men

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Cookie Monster has a really poor diet

Cookie Monster

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Dolly Parton has breast implants

Gossip Girl

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The tide

Nene Leaks

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Something scandalous will happen on Scandal

Emma Stone

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Sometimes it rains

The Queen

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The remote is wedged between the couch cushions

Brad Pitt

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If you go swimming, you’ll get wet


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Someone on Grey’s Anatomy will cheat

Rowan Atkinson

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So, thanks, George R.R. Martin, for that breaking news. Let us know when you have more spoilers, eh?

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