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Bachelor in Paradise review: You’re only in paradise once

The Bachelor in Paradise house goes from carpe diem to carpe the guys as the ladies gain control of the roses this week.

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Let the couple shuffle begin. Relationships are already crumbling while others are sparking. Thanks to two new guys this week, Zack and Chris, the dynamic in the house is entirely changed.


Instead of YOLO (you only live once), the Bachelor in Paradise contestants decide YOPO (you’re only in paradise once) is fitting for their time on the island. This seems to have less to do with finding connections and a lot more to do with getting drunk.

Ben is the ring leader in the partying games, but he doesn’t have a connection with anyone in the house. Nor is he really going out of his way to get to know anyone. Why? Turns out, it’s because he has the love of his life back home. Due to a series of very coincidental events, Marcus finds a love letter among Ben’s things and the house confronts him. He admits that he has a girlfriend back home and leaves paradise.

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Michelle is super upset by the turn of events. More because we think she’d had a little too much to drink than that she actually felt betrayed. Luckily, she has Robert, Marquel and longtime friend Graham, who are more than willing to comfort and reassure her.

The friend zone

Dylan wants to explore getting to know other people before zeroing in on Elise. When he expresses this desire, she gets offended and flirts it up with Chris to make Dylan jealous. It backfires. Majorly. Dylan checks out of the relationship completely, putting Elise in the friend zone. She, on the other hand, harps and harps on the relationship, convincing herself there’s still hope.

Part of us feels bad for her. Dylan did, after all, say he wanted the two of them to see other people. It seems like he wanted to have his cake and eat it too, which maybe just means he wasn’t ever as into Elise as she was into him. He kept making comments about how she was smothering him. Ouch!

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Unfortunately for Dylan, it’s the ladies who are handing out the roses. Dylan’s last ditch attempt to make a connection with Sarah fails. He turns down Elise’s offered rose and is sent home as a result. We think he made the right decision to forgo the rose, though. Especially considering how set he was on not getting to know her anymore.

Right reasons, right reasons

First Michelle K. then Ben. Chris Harrison laments before the rose ceremony that the events this week remind us all why dating sucks so much. You never know if people have the “right reasons.” The below video is all we pictured tonight when Harrison was talking. Remember this? Get it Bachelor in Paradise people.
Still, despite Harrison’s words, we don’t think everyone is on the show for the right reasons. Newcomer Chris gives us the creeps. Elise should send him packing. And fast. Aside from calling the lovable Dylan “fat Matt Damon,” he led Claire on and doesn’t seem shy about hooking up with anyone who will have him. He’s totally playing the game. We’re not fans at all.

Which contestant or couple is your least favorite from the show so far?

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