Funniest quotes from VH1's surprisingly entertaining Dating Naked
May we be frank? We tuned in to Dating Naked thinking it would be such mind-numbing, bottom-feeding fodder that after five minutes we'd want to turn off the TV and move to Canada. There was a miniscule element of that, but Dating Naked was surprisingly funny and entertaining. Here are a few of the best quotes from Thursday night's premiere.
"I don't want to be perceived as desperate." Darling Wee Wee (she is incredibly likable, which is one of the reasons we stayed tuned for the entire premiere) says this after she dates someone naked. Oh, honey. If you're on a televised dating show where nudity is the prerequisite, we're afraid that desperate ship has sailed. We still love ya, though.
"I like your smile." Studly Joe, who told Wee Wee he was all about personality, says this to the hottest naked chick on the show. Yeah, we're pretty sure it wasn't Jasmine's smile that Joe was digging.
"I don't think too much." This, from the aforementioned Jasmine, who was on camera long enough to tell us how pretty and confident she is.
"What if I gotta fart or something?" Hey Joe, these are logistics we sort of process through before we sign up for a show called Dating Naked. It's not like VH1 sprung the "naked" part on you. It's kind of part of the title. The show's not called "Dating With Your Clothes On in Case You Gotta Fart."
"She's great and all that, but the wrong type of s*** come out the jungle, it's every man for theyself." This would be the chivalrous declaration of Justice, reacting to a strange noise he heard when walking with Wee Wee through the jungle.
"This is pretty big." Chrissy says this after reaching for the bongos and Joe doesn't even follow up with the obvious, "That's what she said." I mean, they're naked. It was a golden opportunity for a "That's what she said" moment, and it was completely wasted.
"I'm, like, not normal." Chrissy says this to Joe on their first date, while they are — you guessed it — naked. Did Chrissy really need to give voice to this piece of information? I think it's safe to say we all sort of put this together on our own. You're on a show called Dating Naked. I think "not normal" is implied.
"If I'm bringing filet mignon to the table, you gotta come with some good mashed potatoes, vegetables, basically Wee Wee just don't have enough swag." Justice says this after Wee Wee summarily dismisses him during the selection process. I can't decide what's funnier, Justice's quote or the fact that six naked adults stand in the blaring sun in their birthday suits on a dating show and have a serious discussion about who they want to continue to date. When the clothes come off, seriousness goes out the window. It really made me wish I could raise my hand and say, "Um, you're still naked."