VH1's LeAnn & Eddie: The (not good) ways they're perfect together
Thursday night's premiere of VH1's LeAnn & Eddie showed us what we already knew — LeAnn Rimes and Eddie Cibrian are perfect together, for all the wrong reasons. This assessment of their shared unflattering characteristics is going to sound harsher than we mean it, but we can't imagine there was one person who watched that premiere and came away feeling good about this couple's dynamic.
The arrogance shared by this couple is palpable. If you are ever wondering what a big deal they are, just sit down, and they'll explain it to you. They open the premiere by bragging about LeAnn's awards being too numerous to count and Eddie's successful 20-year acting career. From there, the rest of LeAnn & Eddie focuses on how much attention their relationship gets, insinuating that the general populous gives a rip about their marriage.
Caustic, snide remarks can be humorous if delivered correctly. If not, they can come off as venomous, and this couple's snide comments and attitude lean toward the latter. In the introduction, Eddie discusses how most people think LeAnn is a home wrecker, and she chimes in, "You forgot alcoholic, pill popper and child stealer." She goes on to snidely mock public perception by describing Eddie as a "man whore, moocher" who married LeAnn for her money.
Rimes gets in several snide digs, and we quickly learn that this self-consumed couple thinks every move they make will be tabloid fodder. When she decides to skydive, she says that if something happens the tabloids will likely say Eddie pushed her out of the plane and took her $50 million. If only Americans cared that much about what these two do.
We're not prudes, and we love inappropriate humor as much as the next LeAnn & Eddie viewer, but there is something so harsh in the undercurrent between these two that their jokes and dynamic just come off as tacky at times. They talk about money way too much, which gets tasteless after a while. LeAnn says she'd "s*** herself" if she skydived, and Eddie pipes up that wouldn't be good for the guy strapped to her (ew), but the tackiest line has to be at the end. In what should be a sweet moment (if such a sentiment is possible between these two), Cibrian tells Rimes he's proud of her for jumping out of a plane, and then he ruins it by saying, "I would love you even if you only had $10 million." Rimes trumps this by saying, "I would love you even if you were fat and ugly," but then quickly says, "No I wouldn't." Again, this should come off as funny, and it just doesn't.
"Phony" isn't a word you should really throw around to describe people, but this couple comes across as so disingenuous that it leaves us with few other options. When they talk about the title of the show, Cibrian says "Eddie and LeAnn," and Rimes corrects him and says pointedly, "LeAnn and Eddie." Cibrian gets a long-suffering look on his face and says, "LeAnn and Eddie." The moment is so obviously scripted it just falls flat. Then we see these two being driven to Cibrian's movie premiere (obvious plug) and — we're just going to say it out loud — a benefit for veterans (also an obvious plug?). If anyone else had done a veteran benefit on camera, we would be inclined to think that was a good thing, but their portrayal of themselves (not the tabloid portrayal of them) leaves us thinking these two aren't terribly charitable souls.
The last trait these two share that makes them perfect together is their ability to play the victim card. They both engaged in activities that led to the bitter divorce of two marriages and now they are the victims of relentless tabloid scandal. Rimes makes a big deal about finally getting out of her 20-year recording contract and finally being free. Wait a minute. Isn't that the same contract that earned her all those awards she bragged about as well as the $50 million they constantly discuss?
Were we the only ones who walked away from this show feeling like Brandi Glanville's loss of Eddie Cibrian may be the best thing that ever happened to her?