We’ve seen some crazy names for TV characters over the years. Here are our picks for the most ridiculous ones out there.
Television has a long, grand history of introducing characters with improbable, unique names. Take the entire cast of Game of Thrones, for example — but Westeros is a fantasy world, so we’ll give the parents a free pass, and with “Arya” and “Khaleesi” growing in popularity among new parents in 2013, we may have to get used to them.
But what about those shows set in our plain old regular world? We’ve heard some names that force even the most open-minded viewer to cry, “Oh, come on!” upon the character’s introduction. Here’s our take on some of the most ridiculous names we’ve seen on the small screen.
Topanga Lawrence-Matthews, Boy Meets World/Girl Meets World
OK, OK, Topanga’s parents were hippies, which she’s explained on numerous occasions. Still, it could always be worse: When playing the “What would your soap opera name be?” game with her college friends, she claims, “I have a weird middle name!” and won’t be persuaded to reveal it, promising it’s even crazier than Topanga. Fingers crossed we discover it in Girl Meets World.
Pacey Witter, Dawson’s Creek
This one was tough. Pacey Witter (Joshua Jackson) was the ultimate late ’90s WB dream boyfriend, and admitting he had any flaws at all wounds us to our soul. Still, we have to face facts: He’s up against a dude named Dawson and “Pacey” is still the crazier moniker.
Randy Wharmpess, How I Met Your Mother
Will Forte was delightful as Barney’s wannabe wingman. His social skills, however, left a lot to be desired, and his last name meant that his decision to open a brewery and name a beer after himself was possibly not the best plan in the world.
Tweenie Halpern, Gilmore Girls
Barely seen on the screen, Tweenie was a member of the DAR and a frequent bone of contention to Emily Gilmore (Kelly Bishop). She was incensed at the idea that Tweenie and Rory (Alexis Bledel) had bonded, possibly because it’s hard to keep a straight face while addressing a grown woman as “Tweenie.”
Criss Chross, 30 Rock
When Liz (Tina Fey) informed Jack (Alec Baldwin) about her new boyfriend’s name, Jack didn’t even have words. He had a magnificent eye roll, and we were right there with him. Good thing Criss was perfect for Liz in so many other ways. Otherwise, he may never have earned Jack’s official Donaghy seal of approval.
Poppita Fresh, Popular
A hallmark of any Ryan Murphy show is a handful of quirkily named characters (Glee‘s female football coach Shannon Beiste springs immediately to mind) and his first high-school venture, the now-defunct WB’s Popular, was no exception. Popular offered us almost too many choices between Mary Cherry and April Tuna. Still, pretty cheerleader Poppita Fresh (Anel Lopez-Gorham) takes the prize in this round.
Alaric Saltzman, The Vampire Diaries
Great name for a covert vampire hunter. Not a great name for a high-school history teacher. “Ric” made an acceptable nickname, but when he wrote out his full name for the students on his first day of school, Mr. Saltzman left himself open to teasing.
Donkeylips, Salute Your Shorts
OK, OK, we know “Donkeylips” was a nickname. Hey, nobody’s denying that kids can be cruel. Still: Donkeylips? Where does a nickname like that even spring from? It’s completely crazy, and what was even crazier was how the adults at Camp Anawanna just rolled with it.