It happens at least every five minutes, and it could even inspire a steadily-paced drinking game for those equipped with a bottle of wine (shared between multiple people, of course): bad — nay, hilarious — things said on The Bachelorette. And for this particular episode, we counted 17.
Photo credits: ABC
You win some, you lose some. And during this episode, we lost a few. But that doesn’t mean we didn’t gain a few great moments — and quotes.
For those who didn’t watch the episode, we’ll reiterate: Spoilers ahead!
Here are the best quotes of last night’s episode:
“I’m kinda like the pet dog of the group.”
“I feel like the odd duck out.”
“I see some pigeons!” *plays with pigeons*
Regarding her “drama” with Nick:
“Did we resolve everything? No.” *continues to make out with Nick on the gondola*
“He missed me; he wanted it, come get it. He’s a man. That’s a man right there. Good job, Nick.”
*they make out pre-rose ceremony while cheesy, “romantic” music plays*
“I have been masking, if you will, my feelings for Andi. So I decided to take my mask off and open up to Andi.” *while putting masquerade mask on*
“How correct are these?” *as he sweats bullets before the lie detector test*
“Have you ever been in love? Do you want to make out?”
Lie detector expert: “Do you wash your hands after you go to the bathroom?”
Dylan: *hesitates* “No.”
“What hurts?” — Andi asks post-lie detector test.
Dylan: *pats hearts, then head; decides to leave early from group date*
And the two winners of the night go to…
Nick, with this touching statement during his and Andi’s one-on-one date in Venice:
“There isn’t just one romantic square in the city, or one romantic building — it’s the whole city.”
And Cody, before he was eliminated:
“I hope she helps me write my great love story… I just want to hug you, kiss you, roll around with you.”
The moment the Bachelorette bromance died
This moment is brought to you by JJ aka Bill Nye, after Chris gets the group date rose:
“We shouldn’t be happy when someone gets a rose. We shouldn’t be happy when someone gets a one-on-one.”
“What’s the alternative?” — Chris
“This is getting to a point where I can’t get excited for someone else.” — JJ
And your bonus quotes, from the lie detector expert:
“We are here to make with you a lie detector test.”
“Have you ever fart in the public?”
But really, it’s “Have you ever fought in the public?”
Here’s to next week!