Toni Braxton revealed she had a secret abortion back in the day, and her grief planted an unbelievable idea in her head.
Toni Braxton’s new memoir drops a few bombshells about her tumultuous career, but none more so than a secret abortion she had in 2001 and the fallout from that decision.
In an excerpt from her new book Unbreak My Heart, Braxton revealed how her religious upbringing led her to believe God punished her for her choice.
“I was suddenly faced with a choice I’d never thought I’d have to make. Amid my major misgivings about abortion, I eventually made the gut-wrenching decision,” she wrote. “In my heart, I believed I had taken a life — an action that I thought God might one day punish me for… My initial rage was quickly followed by another strong emotion: guilt. I knew I’d taken a life… I believed God’s payback was to give my son autism.”
The singer backtracked on her comments in an interview with Entertainment Tonight, where she went into greater detail about the circumstances surrounding her decision and how she no longer believes her son’s condition is a result of God’s vengeance.
“I felt selfish because I was thinking, I’m going through bankruptcy — there’s things going on with my life and I can’t give this kid any future. I was feeling hopeless for no reason, when I look at it now for no reason, what was I thinking?” she explained.
“I am not really embarrassed about it, I am more ashamed of myself for doing that because I could’ve figured something out financially — that was just an excuse I was making for myself.
“I often tell myself I have three kids. I have two boys, but I often have to tell myself I have two kids. But in my head I feel like I have three kids. I thought it was because of the abortion — God was punishing me,” she revealed. “And it took a long time for me to get past that.”
The star’s reality show Braxton Family Values airs on WeTV.