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Game of Thrones review: A mockery for a mock trial

It’s less of a trial and more of a show. Either way, it’s judgment day for Tyrion on Game of Thrones. Don’t worry, he’s delivering on the spectacle, that’s for sure.

Tyrion’s (Peter Dinklage) trial took center stage Sunday night on Game of Thrones after weeks of him sitting in a cell. Though his time in the spotlight is more like 15 minutes of shame.

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  • ICYMI last week…
  • The men of the Night’s Watch take down the rebels at Craster’s Keep.
  • Jon and Ghost are reunited though Bran chooses not to see Jon and instead continues on his quest.
  • Bran, for the first time, is able to get inside Hodor’s head and control him.
  • Cersei asks Oberyn to give Myrcella a present from her: A ship.

While we saw Daenerys, Theon, Davos and Stannis at the beginning of the episode, King’s Landing really steals the show once everything with Tyrion finally begins to unfold.

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Despite Jaime’s deal with Tywin that he’ll leave the King’s Guard and produce heirs in exchange for Tyrion’s life, Tyrion has other plans, especially once he realizes Shae has swapped over to Team Cersei (Lena Headey) while he was trying to save her life. And boy do things get messy.

Just put a dagger through our hearts, why don’t you? Tyrion’s face, while Shae was twisting their love story into something disgusting — it killed me. He looked so heartbroken and even pleaded with her not to do it. She threw it back in his face, which sent him on a downward spiral of running his mouth and glaring at Tywin as Tyrion does best.

He declared that he wanted to confess. Once he had the floor’s attention, Tyrion said his only crime was being a dwarf, and it was a crime he’d been defending himself for since he was born. But he didn’t stop there. He said he wished he had been the one to kill Joffrey. He, in true Tyrion fashion, took it even further from that point, too. He also said he’d love to feed poison to everyone in the room, or something to that effect, which went over with much gasping and horror.

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OK, maybe he took it a little far. But the court did deserve it. They always deserve it when Tyrion sticks it to the court. He also wasn’t going to be the pawn anymore and demanded a trial by combat. Heck, it worked out so well for him before, so why not again, right?

But who will be Tyrion’s champion? We have a few options for you to ferret over.

  • Jaime — The valiant brother is the obvious answer. But as a member of the King’s Guard, is he eligible to put his name in? Would he forsake everything in his life for his brother? He practically did already, didn’t he, by agreeing to continue the Lannister name in exchange for Tyrion’s life.
  • Prince Oberyn Martell — He’s made it clear he has a vendetta against the Lannisters, but he now appears to be playing for their team. Where does his loyalty lie?
  • Varys — Not directly, of course. The idea of him holding a sword is actually pretty laughable, to be honest, but he could help Tyrion find someone who would be a suitable opponent.
  • Brienne — It’s possible she could return from her mission at Jaime’s request. She has always been one to stick it to the man, after all.

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Best quotes of the night

“When I see what desire does to people, what it’s done to this country, I’m very glad to have no part in it,” Varys says while speaking with Oberyn. This subtle conversation left us again wondering what he’s playing at this time.

“I’m guilty of being a dwarf,” Tyrion confesses during his trial. It’s the only crime he will openly admit to.

“I did not kill Joffrey, but I wish I had,” Tyrion sneers following Shae’s betrayal.

Who do you think will fight for Tyrion? Will he be able to fight his way out of this one?

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