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7 Truths Oprah’s new show taught us about Lindsay Lohan

On Sunday night, Oprah Winfrey aired the first episode of Lindsay Lohan’s reality TV show on OWN. It gave us a chance to see the girl behind the DUI arrests and the multiple rehab attempts. Here’s what we learned.

Lindsay Lohan is very polite

Yes, Lindsay Lohan is an actress desperate to get her career on track who recognizes that her fairy godmother, Oprah, has given her one chance to make that happen. It stands to reason that Lohan may have a strategy to appear or act a certain way to win fans back. Regardless of whether or not it’s an act, in the premiere of her reality TV show on OWN on Sunday night, Lohan was polite to everyone — saying please and thank you at every opportunity. Even when she got snippy with her Realtor after living in a hotel room for more than 30 days (a lifestyle that she says is reminiscent of a destructive time in her life so she hates it), she prefaced her irritation with the broker by saying, “I’m not trying to be rude.”

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Lindsay Lohan

Lohan has a lot of stuff

Holy acquired crap. In the opening of the show, we follow Lohan to a storage facility. We envision a storage unit, maybe two, like most of us would get when we move. Instead we are taken to a Costco-like warehouse with boxes and crates of Lohan’s possessions. Many of the boxes are filled with miscellaneous, random junk, and we never see what’s in the crates. Throughout the documentary, we see Lohan on the floor sifting through piles of jewelry. If — as the rumors suggest — Lohan is in financial trouble, she could try auctioning off some of her warehouse possessions.

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Matt Harrell

Photo credit: Alberto Reyes/WENN

Her assistant is hot

Matt Harrell, who has worked with Prince and Steven Tyler, is now Lohan’s assistant. And we’ve got to say — the guy’s kind of hot. We’re not sure if it’s because he always wears a suit, that he does all of Lohan’s personal bidding (who wouldn’t want that?) or if it’s because he talks about Lohan in a truthful but professional way — but Harrell had us saying, “How you doin’?” Makes a girl wonder what’s going on under that suit — wink, wink, nudge, nudge.

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Low maintenance, kind of

Previews for upcoming episodes profile Lohan as a bit of a diva, but in the premiere of Lindsay, we didn’t see a lot of theatrics. In fact, the first 20 minutes were downright dull. She’s polite to the movers. She isn’t terribly demanding with her real estate agent — the only time she appears a bit demanding is when they are discussing square footage (and toward the end of the show when she gets impatient with her broker for not disclosing that she has to sign a $10 million insurance waiver). Lohan seems pretty laid back until…

You breach her trust

If you bait and switch Lohan, that is when s*** gets real. In the docuseries, Lohan explains she has trust issues stemming from her dad’s broken promises. So we see Lohan pitch a fit when a friend/producer lures her into doing a shoot and when she arrives, the producer has drastically changed the format and scope of what Lohan initially agreed to. We also see Lohan get a little restless when, as mentioned above, she can’t get into her apartment until she signs a $10 million insurance waiver that was not part of the original deal. Lohan admits to having trust issues and getting “pissed” when people lie to her, but in fairness, anyone would get annoyed in these situations.

Lindsay Lohan

Photo credit: WENN

Smokes like a stack

Like a lot of recovering addicts (if the participants on Celebrity Rehab With Dr. Drew are any indication), Lohan smokes. A lot. And indoors. We thought there were rules and regulations against indoor smoking in most public places, but Lohan clearly needs her nicotine to keep an even keel (and that skinny bod!).

Lindsay Lohan and Oprah

Compromised coping skills

Anxiety is a killer and it’s difficult to imagine how anxiety is magnified when you are a recovering addict. For all of Lohan’s recovery achievements, her coping skills seem a bit compromised at times. Of course, if we were in the middle of a move, starting a new reality TV show with the most famous woman in television (Oprah) and lived our life under a microscope, we’d probably get rattled occasionally, too. It will be interesting to see what Lohan does with this pressure as the show progresses. Will it teach her how to deal with conflict without hitting the bottle or will it send her spiraling out of control?

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