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6 Times Romancing the Joan told it like it is

Joan Rivers knows how to woo a man. She also knows a thing or two about life. She just has a way of putting it all out there, ya know? These moments prove our point perfectly.

Joan Rivers

Everyone knows Joan Rivers never misses a moment to make a smart, funny point. When SheKnows TV brought in Rivers for Romancing the Joan, we pretty much turned her loose. What happened was sheer brilliance.


“The road to love is filled with peril…”

Of course, she doesn’t stop there. What does that peril look like? “Loneliness, heartache, bad plastic surgery, back hair. You have no idea!” She tells us. We do now, Joan. We do now.


“Part of love is stepping on people’s hearts and crushing their dreams.”

Is it really? Rivers thinks so! And she does have a valid point. How many hearts did you break before you found your “one true love?” How many times has your heart been broken during that search? Oh, she’s so smart!


“Strip away your good looks, your mutant musculature, your sexy voice, your charm, your job… and what’s left?”

Melissa asks a good question. The answer from Romancing the Joan: smell. We couldn’t agree more. As Joan puts it, “there’s something so primal about the smell of a man!” We’ll follow the smell of Old Spice to the ends of the earth! Or, you know, any of the wonderful fragrances brought to us by Renuzit!


“I loved the silence! I could imagine he was saying everything I wanted to hear.”

We’re just going to throw it out there: Our imagined conversations with our boyfriends or husbands are always better than the stupid stuff they actually say, right?


“We don’t always know where the road to love will lead. We can only hope to follow it to the end.”

Well played, dramatic bachelor! We couldn’t agree more… even if it is the cheesiest line ever.


“If it burns calories, cutie puss, I’m in!”

Best. Answer. To a sexual advance. Ever. And, for the record, he could throw us around too. But we’re definitely keeping that line in our back pocket for next weekend.

Man, we need to take all our advice from Joan. She just knows how to handle life. In Romancing the Joan, Joan Rivers must choose between 15 bachelors. Lucky for you, you can choose them all at

More on Romancing the Joan

Joan Rivers’ funniest quotes from Romancing the Joan
Romancing the Joan: Meet the bachelors!
Watch all the episodes and see behind the scene footage here

Photo credit: Joseph Marzullo/

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