Move over "Friday," it's now time for "Chinese Food"

Oct 15, 2013 at 10:55 p.m. ET

What do you get when you mix auto-tuning with chow mein, pre-teens and slightly racist Asian stereotypes? The new song from Ark Music Factory, that's what.


We don't know about you, but we don't know too many 12-year-olds who hit up the clubs and then go looking for some hugs and Chinese food.

Then again, not all 12-year-olds are viral music-sensation Alison Gold.

The pre-teen singer is another prodigy of the Ark Music Factory, a vanity record company best known for introducing us to Rebecca Black and her 2011 ode to the weekend, "Friday." Ark chief Patrice Wilson knows that young girl + ridiculous lyrics + even more ridiculous videos = viral success — and he hit the jackpot with "Chinese Food."

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Gold starts the song by relaying a common problem that happens to girls her age: "After ballin’, I go clubbin’, then I’m huggin'" and then she's hungry... and grumpy. Luckily, she finds a Chinese restaurant on her way home.

And she really loves Chinese food. Like, a lot.

"I love Chinese Food. You know that it's true. I love fried rice. I love noo-dulls. I love chow mein. Chow mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mein," she sings. Eventually, a giant panda shows up and — surprise! — it's Wilson. He does a weird little rap about loving sweet-and-sour sauce and rhymes broccoli with Monopoly.

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Oh, and the video is subtitled in several different languages.

The whole thing is too absurd — and offensive — to be a mistake. It's working, though: The video already has 2.8 million views and it's expected to hit the Billboard charts next week, according to The Hollywood Reporter.

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Photo credit: Ark Music Factory