Jada Pinkett Smith is feeling a bit reflective now that she’s 42. The actress took to Facebook to discuss what wisdom she’s learned over the years, and threw in some relationship advice for good measure.
Jada Pinkett Smith turned 42 in September and another year on the planet inspired the actress and singer to reflect on her life.
She then logged on to her official Facebook page to share her reflections with fans.
“What I learned about myself is this, when I was younger I was not a good problem solver, meaning I had a very difficult time with dealing with my problems in life,” she wrote on Sept. 19.
The biggest of her revelations? That she’s overcome “several kinds” of addictions. “…but today, at 42, I have my wisdom, my heart and my conscience as the only tools to overcome life’s inevitable obstacles,” she added. “I have become a good problem solver with those tools, and I am damn proud. Thank you for all the love that was given to me for my birthday this year.”
Pinkett Smith added, “What I hope is that we all continue to gain [a] healthy understanding that life is really about, solving problems, and also about us learning to become masters at solving them.”
You know what helps us learn about solving problems? School. Maybe she needs to tell that to her school-hating son, Jaden Smith.
But we digress.
The former Hawthorne actress also used her public profile to give a friend marriage advice. Pinkett Smith — who has battled rumors of a split with husband Will Smith — urged her friend to reconsider a planned divorce.
“For the past five years, I have been meeting with elders who have been married for 25+ years to get understanding from many perspectives as to what marriage and love is all about. Almost all the couples have said that at some point in their marriage they have stumbled upon inevitably difficult moments that called for a break,” she wrote. “I spoke to one couple who had a few years apart only to re-discover their desire to grow old together and to do what was necessary to continue to deepen their love for one another.”
She hopes her pal will “consider taking the route that some of our elders have taken in giving your marriage some space and time before the drastic decision of divorce.”
“Answers to big questions need time to find lasting truth vs the truth of the moment,” the mom of Willow Smith added. “After this process the answer may be the same, but at least you will have the clarity to go about it all with certainty and integrity, but you may also find that spark that could save and rekindle your marriage.”
However, Pinkett Smith draws at staying with someone who treats her badly.
“Someone asked me the other day why do people stay with people who treat them bad?” she wrote on Facebook on Tuesday.
“To me, the answer is simple…they stay because they don’t believe they deserve to be treated better, and the moment one truly believes they deserve better… they do what it takes to change their circumstances which may even mean…leaving because being treated badly becomes… intolerable,” she added.
“You deserve the best and never forget it:).”
Now that’s the sort of truth we can get behind.