Romeo and Juliet and other remakes of 2013

Hard to find an original premise these days, isn’t it? That’s when producers in Hollywood say, “Screw it. This did well the first 100 times around, let’s do it again.” This year has been rich in remakes and you can’t swing a witch’s broom without hitting a remake in October. Let’s take another look.

Romeo and Juliet 2013 remake

Romeo and Juliet

At the risk of angering English lit majors everywhere, can I speak for the rest of us and tell Will to give it a rest? We get it. William Shakespeare wrote wordy tragedies that we are celebrating lo these centuries later. Am I out of line to point out he was one of the only playwrights of his time? It’s not as if we had a ton to choose from. Is it entirely necessary to keep celebrating the guy? Evidently it is.

Romeo and Juliet has played out tens of thousands of time in high-school theaters, community theaters, Broadway, off-Broadway and several times on the big screen. This October, we can gear up for another interpretation of Will’s baby. Has thou-eth had-eth enough-eth? Not even close-eth. “We cannot tell of what is limitless.”


Stephen King fanatics will have mixed feelings about one of King’s most original works being remade on the silver screen. Hopefully the remake won’t feature a locker-room scene with girls frolicking in their underwear, throwing their clothes around like in the original Brian De Palma version. This was clearly a figment of a guy’s imagination about what women do after P.E. class. Trust us, it doesn’t go down like that. Sissy Spacek was perfectly cast as an awkward, bullied teenager. Will Chloe Grace Moretz fill Spacek’s freaky-deaky shoes? We trust Julianne Moore, cast as Carrie’s mom, will play a brilliant psycho. If you haven’t seen the 1976 original movie, here’s what you must do: Read the book first. The books is always better and there are several differences in the book and the original movie. Then stoke up the original Carrie. Now you’re ready to be freaked out by the remake.

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The Great Gatsby

Looking back at the trailer for the 1974 version of The Great Gatsby is making us realize how fabulously bad films in the ’70s were. (But a young Robert Redford, who looks exactly like a young Brad Pitt, is in the original, so it has that going for it.) The Great Gatsby was the rare classic that we actually enjoyed reading in school. Why wouldn’t director Buz Luhrmann want to remake this opulent and disturbing tale with today’s technological advances, oh, and Leonardo DiCaprio? Remakes are dicey, because you never know how they’ll be received. Paramount made money on this $6.5 million dollar project — it’s grossed almost $27 million so far.

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The Lone Ranger

When it comes to remakes, The Lone Ranger is king. It was first a radio show series, then a television series and a 1981 movie. We decided to use the trailer from the ’80s version of this movie, because we’re sort of over the 2013 trailer. Sure, it may be a bit corny (OK, a lot corny) but it only lost a few million, as opposed to its contemporary, which is projected to lose between $150 and $190 million.

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