It’s Thankful Thursday, and this Thursday we’re thankful for Instagram and the insanely hot men who share their self-love through selfies. Drop what you’re doing and be thankful with us.
Who are we to get in the way of Nick Jonas’ crusade to be an example of a healthy diabetic? If drooling over his luscious selfies helps to further his cause, then damnit, we’re in. We are willing to make that sacrifice. Hopefully, Jonas will keep us updated (daily, perhaps?) of his physical fitness journey.
We could make a lot of wise cracks about Justin Bieber’s spoiled brat, entitled celebrity behavior of late, but that would get in the way of our selfie enjoyment. We would never make inappropriate comments about such a young thing (right?) because that would be wrong. We’ll just say we get why 12-year-old girls think Bieber is the Second Coming of Christ.
Austin Mahone is just 17 years old, so if we were to comment on his hotness, we’d feel like that dirty old lady with matted hair who sits alone at the end of the bar on a Wednesday night. We’ll just say that we support Mahone’s choice to post selfies, and we get why Selena Gomez would go from the Biebs to becoming a Mahomie.
This is how a semi-selfie is done. No toilets in the background, no having to take your own picture because no one else will. Jason Derulo‘s (who is not yet engaged to Jordin Sparks) latest album has a track that asks us to “Talk Dirty to Me.” Um, OK. Staring at this image of masculine perfection should provide the proper motivation.
What happens when a chubby funster gets hired to be a Guardians of the Galaxy superhero? He kicks beer to the curb for six months and gets a personal trainer. Was passing on the hops worth it? We can’t speak for Chris Pratt, but on our end it certainly was. Pratt got a lot of flak for this succulent selfie, but if he wants to keep us abreast of his weight loss and shaping up, we’re fine with it. Very. Fine.
Ah, ha, ha. We just wanted to see if you were paying attention. OK, Geraldo Rivera’s not the kind of guy you want to see in a towel. Let’s just get that out of the way. But, let’s also give credit where credit is due. Rivera is 70 years old, so there’s a chance that Our Time subscribers were all over this selfie. Let this be a lesson to all the grams and gramps out there: Don’t drink and selfie. Ever.