This episode was close to being ridiculously boring. I almost didn’t finish watching until I saw that Brooks’ panties were in a ruffle. In a nutshell, Desiree had two fantasy dates this episode and a devastating breakup.
There was nothing fancy about her date with Drew. Basically, this date was not romantic and painfully exhausting. Gonna go ahead and throw it out there again: Drew doesn’t seem into girls, um, I mean Desiree. He’s a sweet, adorable little guy, but there’s just no spark. I’m gonna say there was no sex in the champagne room. He’s gone!
Next, Chris steps up to bat with an ultimatum. He tells Des he isn’t a d-bag who wants to live in Los Angeles and try to make unrealistic dreams come true. He says she must move to Seattle if she wants his best swimmers and heart. Des knows she’s picking Brooks, so she politely lies and says she would move for him, only to avoid an awfully sad poem. (And an awfully nice fantasy bed.) Also, she wants to see a different “side” of him, which can only be seen when cameras are done rolling in the fantasy suite. Come on, he is hot. She probably had duct tape in the bedroom. Not to be kinky, but simply to keep him from vomiting up haikus.
Side note: Most of Desiree’s guys have since relocated to Los Angeles to be actors and models — i.e. Brandon #pansypants (who I met and love), Drew and I really don’t know who else. Just said “most” for a dramatic effect. I’m a girl, what do you expect? And no, I didn’t move here for anything in the entertainment industry. I moved because I was laid off, and Holly Durst convinced me to move in with her.
After spending the night with another man, Desiree claims she doesn’t even love him and is excited to see Brooks. My thoughts on this situation: Brooks is actually into Desiree. They’ve been dating for six weeks, but not exclusively. He probably knows he wouldn’t propose right away, but wants to date and see what happens. That’s the logical thinking most normal people have. He isn’t falling for the hype of the show and a forced, rushed proposal. If the producers told Brooks he needs to be ready to propose or get the eff out, then what is he supposed to do? He isn’t some a**hole who would propose for the sake of the show, he’s a man falling in love with a lot of pressure behind him. Don’t worry. I predict he’ll be back next week after realizing that he does love her, and that he realized it when he saw how real her love was for him.
The drama next week? Des doesn’t let any of the guys go through with a proposal. She’s ready to fly home, leaving two crying boys behind. But then, out of nowhere, Brooks is standing there like the ending scene of the Titanic with Jack and Rose. He tells her he loves her, and Bachelorette history is made.
Are my predictions right? We shall see. Eeeeps! I actually can’t wait for Monday! And for the record, it made my stomach sick to see Desiree so upset. We’ve all been heartbroken, and it sucks. I’m so hoping my predictions are correct and she lives happily ever after for the average six-month lifespan of a Bachelor/Bachelorette couple.
More about Natalie Getz
Natalie Getz is a TV personality, blogger and fashionista from Chicago. She does publicity for Adonia Organics and is a buyer for the clothing boutique Apricot Lane. In her spare time, Getz loves to blog about all things fashion and comedy and is a contributing writer for The Los Angeles Fashion magazine. She also hosts several TV shows and web series and is currently hosting Model Turned Superstar (coming in fall 2013). Getz appeared on ABC’s The Bachelor and Bachelor Pad, which she won and in turn took home $125,000. Getz resides in Hermosa Beach, California.