Time for a comeback
Elaine’s dance moves: Elaine, Seinfeld
How did George describe Elaine’s dance moves? Like a full-body dry heave. Brilliant. We loved Elaine’s lack of awareness about her terrible dancing almost as much as we loved the dancing itself. Imitating it is easy. Snap your fingers, jerk your head back and kick one leg out in front of you and then to the side. Then do the same with the other leg while repeating the finger and head snap. Practice in a mirror and then take that sh*t to a dance floor near you. It’s time for an Elaine-dancing revival.
Fair, porcelain skin: Grace, Will and Grace
God save the world from bad Mystic-tans. At least when Debra Messing was on our TV sets once a week, we were reminded that pale skin with killer red hair is beautiful. The trend we currently see is one that would disgust Malibu Barbie. OK, maybe “disgust” is harsh, but we’d like to see at least as many attractive examples of un-tanned skin as we see of tanned skin.
Plaid and big floral bedspreads and shams:
Everybody Loves Raymond
What happened to those magnificent big splashy florals that Ralph Lauren used to make, coupled with the striped or plaid shams and accessories? Stores still sell them, but you don’t see them as much. Now it’s all geometric shapes and paisley and rainbow tiger stripes. How are you supposed to sleep with those dizzying patterns covering your person? It’s much more relaxing to feel like you’re covered in a field of flowers.
Matchy-match hats: Hilary Banks, Fresh Prince of Bel Air
Hilary Banks’ daily wardrobe allowance exceeds most of our annual wardrobe allowances, but the girl did it up right with darling blazers and trouser ensembles with a matching hat. She looked like she was going to a high tea or a horse race — definitely somewhere where she’d walk into a room, remove her driving gloves and snap them at the butler while she ran over to kiss her host on each cheek. A return to cute sophistication is in order.
Boy secretaries: Dennis Finch, Just Shoot Me
Dennis Finch, the smart-talking, devious manssitant to the boss on Just Shoot Me was the best boy secretary of the ’90s. Wait, he was the only boy secretary of the ’90s! That’s not right. What he lacked in work ethic and efficiency, he made up for in sarcasm and wisecracks. We’ll take the latter any day of the week.