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The Bling Ring movie review: Fame, cocaine and Louboutins

Using Google Maps, TMZ and Facebook, several San Fernando Valley teens managed to heist nearly $3 million worth of clothing, jewelry and guns from the homes of numerous celebrities. How? Well, they sort of just let themselves in.


The Bling Ring

3 Stars: Perfect for generation TMZ

This story is a shocking cautionary tale about over-medicated, fame-obsessed youth. I say shocking because in most heist movies, there’s a grand plan with a focused team who’s well rehearsed. Not in The Bling Ring. These nitwit teens do little in the way of masterminding and a lot in the way of embracing sheer audacious entitlement. Turns out that breaking into Lindsay Lohan’s home in the Hollywood Hills is pretty gosh-darn easy — she leaves the door open.

The Bling Ring: Trailer, cast and more >>

The movie focuses on four bat-brained bandits, Nicki (Emma Watson), Sam (Taissa Farmiga), Marc (Israel Broussard) and the ringleader, Rebecca (Katie Chang). Marc and Rebecca meet at an “alternative” high school (read: school for dropouts) in the West Valley, while Nicki and Sam are homeschooled by Nicki’s mom Laurie (Leslie Mann) on lessons garnered from the new-agey book The Secret.

The Bling Ring

It’s Rebecca’s idea to “go shopping” at Paris Hilton’s house when they easily discover the TMZ-er is out of town. They steal her clothing, jewelry and size 11 shoes, which seem to fit Marc perfectly, much to his delight. The obtuse outlaws quickly become addicted to their new lifestyle, hanging out in Paris Hilton’s personal nightclub room, drinking celeb alcohol, snorting celeb cocaine and dousing themselves in celeb perfume.

Paris Hilton speaks up about The Bling Ring >>

But does dressing, snorting, smelling and getting arrested like a celebrity make one a celebrity? Considering the teens had a reality show on E! and now a movie about their lives made by Oscar winner Sofia Coppola, yes, it does. Unfortunately.

Bling Rin

Emma Watson, perhaps the actress who’s most schooled in celebrity, deliciously delves into Nicki, giving her a spot-on Valley Girl dialect and daffy dreams of helping people or, as she puts it,  “I could be running a country someday, for all I know.”

Coppola makes the point that in the minds of these young people, no crimes were committed. The teenagers were only emulating what they see on TV and the Internet because this is America and our Constitution guarantees us the right to be famous.

Bottom line: Tonally, the film drifts back and forth between comedy and social commentary but delivers moments of sheer, voyeuristic fun that will be relished by the I-can-be-famous-too generation.

Run time is 87 minutes. There are no extra scenes after the credits.

Photo credit: A24 Films

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