Writer says women over 20 should not be in bikinis

Jul 30, 2015 at 12:45 p.m. ET
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How old were you when you stopped (or started) wearing a bikini? This is the question one Daily Mail writer answers definitively for all of us. At least the former part of it. In her mind, we all need to stop wearing a two-piece... about 10 years ago. Say what?

Writer Janet Street-Porter makes some good points in her anti-bikini rant for the Daily Mail. She says:

The bikini is thoroughly evil, as the most efficient (and cruel) way of separating the women from the girls. It's the fashion industry's way of making mature women feel rubbish. It's underwear to swim in with zero support, and there's nowhere to hide.

Basically she says that any woman who wears the bikini after age 20 is crazy and that no one wants to see it. And that is where she loses me. In her words:

It's a total mystery to me why grown women think that putting all their bits on display and hoisting up their breasts like a pair of half-set jellies on a plate makes them seem alluring, sexy or seductive. Why on earth would I want to turn the clock back to my teenage years, to pretend that 50 years of eating and drinking haven't taken their toll on my torso?

Look, we all know those women who would rather wear a one-piece as soon as they hit adulthood. That's fine. But we all also know women who look downright spectacular until well past their 40th birthday. We also know women who don't care about the perfect "bikini body," who instead are in pursuit of body comfort, and they feel best in a two-piece. In short: It is not up to this writer — or anyone else — what bathing suit the rest of us should choose to wear.

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As a mom, I am not comfortable with the idea of my daughter in a bikini until she has breasts that fill the top. It just seems gratuitous for a child to wear a bra-like top before she has developed. Which means that once my daughter is allowed to wear one, she will have only about five years until she has to switch to a one-piece. Why is that some stranger's call?

Contrary to popular belief, we do not dress ourselves for others' eyes. We dress for ourselves. So if I want to wear a two-piece and show off all the work I did at the gym, then I will. And if I want to wear a one-piece and hide my "flaws," I will do that too. We all are struggling to be comfortable on the beach or at the pool. So let's stop all the infighting, shall we?

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Wear the bathing suits that suit you, ladies. End of discussion.

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