12 Things all women with small boobs understand
If you are past puberty and you aren't considering plastic surgery, it may be time to realize that having itty-bitty titties is actually kind of awesome.
Kim "Kimmay" Caldwell of Hurray Kimmay, 10-year lingerie and bra fitting expert, AKA the "bra-blem solver," knows a thing or two about the plight of the small-breasted woman. She explains, "After seeing thousands of women in the bra fitting rooms of New York City, I've seen every size from AAA (being two cup sizes smaller than A) to N cup. The most common lament from small-busted women is a feeling of inadequacy. They are often embarrassed or feel less feminine than their average or full-busted friends. It's been my extreme pleasure to help women find their comfort and confidence in the bra fitting room. I help women of all sizes realize that her bra size is just a number and a letter and does not define her worth."
Kimmay's right. We flat-chested women have been feeling ashamed for far too long. Small breasts can be just as sexy and just as feminine as large breasts. In fact, some men prefer them.
Chris of Montana, a self-proclaimed "lucky guy," tells SheKnows, "I'm a guy, and I love small boobs. For instance, they don't bounce during intercourse, but they jiggle beautifully. I know a lot of women are self-conscious about small boobs. Many get implants. What a tragedy. I got to experience both on the same woman. My wife has little boobs, but when she got pregnant, they got really big. She went from something like a B-cup to a Double D. Both were beautiful, but I much prefer the little ones."
To which I reply: Hell, yeah — small boobs, represent! So, we've established the fact that small boobs are great. But that doesn't mean that living the cleavage-free lifestyle is uneventful. If you're the proud owner of a pair of mosquito bites, then you know exactly what it's like to take your little girls out to buy new clothes. You may encounter:
1. The embarrassing salespeople
Catherine Smith of Sooner Not Later says, "My favorite experience was when I was bra shopping and asked a woman in the department store if she would measure me. She looked right at me and then the people I was shopping with and said, 'Does she even need a bra?'"
2. The classic bra shopping aversion
Bra shopping, what is that? Oh, you mean that humiliating coming-of-age ritual that my mom put me through when I was 12? Nope, nopity nope, no thank you, please. Montrie Rucker Adams, author and proud member of the "Small Breasts Club," tells SheKnows that the greatest thing about having small boobs is "not having to wear a bra! They are a nuisance... tight, binding and uncomfortable."
3. The Go-Go-Gadget lingerie
If prepubescent bra shopping didn't scar you for life, then you can have a little more fun than your large breasted sisters in the lingerie department. Adams confesses, "We can be big one day and small the next. We can always add to our bra, go from large (to fill the space in your clothes) to small in an instant."
4. The junior department
Here's why Lyndsey Gavin, New York publicist, never pays full price for a Vicky's Secret bra, "I can still fit in the tween bras Walmart sells." Monique Prince of Tame Your Wild Child is not ashamed to admit that she takes her tiny tatas straight to the girls' department, "I stopped wearing bras because there is nothing to support! Instead, I wear a girl's size 14 camisole."
5. The beauty of cheap sports bras
32 A-cup long-distance runner Carolyn A. Smuts says, "I simply cannot comprehend the lamentations of my busty friends who ether cannot find sports bras at all or have to double up on them. Some of those things cost more than $80! Sadly (or happily), I have never had to buy a sports bra in my life. I usually buy the crappy cotton clearance bras from Target, and I never shell out more than $4.99. Score!"
6. Lingerie is a one-piece set
Evidently, there are those of us in the Itty Bitty Titty Committee who throw caution to the wind and ditch bras altogether. For blogger Lindsay Hall, this liberating decision makes shopping much, much easier. She says, "My boobs are so tiny that I kind of forget to think of them as 'private' entities. For me, lingerie is a one-piece set. A thong."
7. The mix-and-match bathing suits
When you've grown up playing for Team Small Boob, you learn to get creative. Small-breasted blogger Nafeesa Saboor knows what's up: "I can only buy mix-and-match two-piece bathing suits because I need a small/medium at the top and often a large at the bottom."
8. The saggy tops
For Mary Beck of Washington D.C., that feeling of wanting to beat your head against the wall after trying on one baggy top after another never gets easier. She says that not filling out shirts is the worst part of small boob shopping.
9. The dresses that never fit
When are designers going to learn that small boobs don't always come with a ruler-shaped body? Saboor explains, "Buying dresses is a headache, especially shift dresses, because I have small boobs, a fairly small waist, wide hips and a big rear."
10. The strapless envy
You know it, and I know it. We don't have the lovely lady lumps required to support a strapless dress all night long. Amanda Collins of Phoenix says, "As a woman with small breasts, I cannot wear strapless dresses. They're super cute, but I cannot hold them up! The last time I tried one on at Old Navy, my young son was with me, and we laughed and laughed when it just fell right down to my waist."
11. The wardrobe malfunctions
Go out for an afternoon of swimsuit shopping, they said. It will be fun, they said. Gavin recalls how her barely-there boobs never fail to create a Sophie's Choice moment in the dressing room, "Going swimsuit shopping and realizing you either squeeze into a smaller size or risk flashing everyone because you can't fill out the top half."
12. The hand-me-downs
Even if your last shopping trip was a bust (see what I did there?), turn that frown upside down. You know all your sweater-stretcher friends are just going to give you their tops that don't fit anyway. Dr. Jane Greer, New York-based relationship expert and author of What About Me? Stop Selfishness From Ruining Your Relationship, explains how you can turn your little lemons into lemonade (read: Use your small boobs to your advantage), "You won't outgrow cute shirts and tops, plus if you have friends with larger chests, you'll likely be gifted things they outgrow or accidentally shrink."