Booty Call Or Is He In It For More?

You guys hang out, get intimate and then...he leaves. Is his post-sex disappearing act because he's channeling Criss Angel or is he just using you for sex? Read into these 8 signs to find out if he's just in it for the sex.

He wants only one thing

We've all been there: Sleeping with a seemingly great guy whose motives we can't seem to figure out. Maybe he's giving mixed signals or no signals at all. Either way, something in us makes us wonder if he's in it just for sex. Well your first clue, should be your trusty gut, but maybe your gut isn't so trusty because it is wrapped up in insecurity. In that case, here are eight more clues that may help you solve the mystery of whether your lover is interested in you as more than just a bedmate.

WARNING: The truth of these clues may sting, but better to know where you stand, than to lay down for too long with the wrong guy, right?

1. Weekday lovers

If your guy seems to always be MIA during the weekends, this is a clear sign that he is reserving weekends for someone else on his literal to-do list, or keeping his options open to meet other women. "When a girl is just a girl I'm into for sex, I'll never ask her out on a weekend. Weekends are strictly reserved for A-listers and new opportunities." – Mike, 27, Chicago

2. Sporadic contact

A guy who is really into you will communicate regularly. A guy who is in it to sex it, calls, texts, emails and pops-over only when he is feeling frisky and knows that you will indulge his desires. If the sight of your man's name on your caller ID surprises you, chances are, this is a sex only situation.

3. Invitation to nowhere

He never invites you to go out with him – his friend's birthday party, his work happy hour, not even a lackluster dinner and a movie. Bottom line: "Dates" are always cozy nights in. Why? Because that is the easiest place to, you guessed it... have sex.

4. Time's up!

You spend just enough time together for a little foreplay, sex and maybe a nap. Unless there's time and desire for a round two, a sex-only motivated man will bolt like a thief in the night before you even have time to turn over on his side.

5. Late-night lovers

A sure in-it-for-the-sex-only sign is when your man only reaches out to you after hours, also known as a "booty-call", when the day is done and quite possibly last call has been shouted. Although he coos for you sweetly on the other end of the phone, perhaps begging for your hot body, just know that you might be on a long list of lovelies, any of one of whom can satisfy his sexual cravings for the evening.

6. Tangoless texts

The sex-only guy is remorseless when it comes to leaving your texts unresponded to for hours - even days - and sometimes doesn't respond at all... unless of course you are reaching out to setup a boudoir appointment. And in that case if his RSVP his positive, his reply back is immediate. Same goes for phone calls, emails, Facebook messages, tweets or any other form of communication.

7. Sexy speak

You two speak one language: Sex. And that's it. If you think hard about it, you may know everything about how he likes "it" but you have no clue where his parents live, what he wanted to be when he grew up, the food that makes him gag, and if he has a middle name. There's lots of moaning and groaning, but no chatter about work, family, friends, problems, triumphs, etc. Sam, 31, of New York says, "A woman who presents herself as a sexual showpiece will be treated that way. Come to the table at the very beginning with more than just the ability to blow me away in the bedroom. Blow away my mind too and that way I'll consider you relationship worthy. You don't have to play like a virgin, you just need to offer more than T&A."

8. Listen from the beginning

He told you straight up that he doesn't want a girlfriend, doesn't have time for a girlfriend, can't deal with a girlfriend... and just wants to have casual fun. It is up to you if you want to listen... but remember, most guys don't want to deliver news that women don't want to hear unless they really mean it. Justin, 24 from Oakland says, "Know who you are and be in charge of what you want from the beginning. If you leave it up to me, then I'm probably going to go for what is easiest... and that's never a relationship."

Tags: being used for sex booty call one night stand


Comments on "8 Signs you're being used for sex"

Lisha March 09, 2014 | 2:42 PM

OK OK but this should be common sense to ALL women...this is an easy no brainer...its about whether the woman wants to believe it or not and listen to her mind instead of her heart. I'm pretty sure every woman has had an in it for the type of man. But what about the Bold ones...the Crooners....the smoooooth talkers....who does the dinner and the movie...the trips...the cuddling...but is only in it for the ? How does a woman spot THOSE KIND??????????? :-)

Jamie February 24, 2014 | 4:27 PM

for some reason 50% of my comment got chopped out. I feel the author may have suffered at the hands of selfish lovers and I hope she finds what she is looking for, I to have suffered at the hands of selfish lovers and it does not matter what you are.

Jamie February 24, 2014 | 4:24 PM

wow what a negative article...maybe the author has a habit of dating man s? with that said its hardly balanced, women are just as capable of manipulating people to get what they want ;) might have a man hating feminist on our hands peoples

vikram August 05, 2013 | 5:38 AM

by reading such articles, which speak only negative, and finding negative signs of a man, happy married women start thinking negative about their man, which will later lead to clashed and problems in a relation ship. instead i suggest you to write some articles suggesting Love making and repair relationships where there problems and misunderstandings. because negative things women get into womens brains faster. So please writers should stick to write positively.

Carlsen June 21, 2013 | 4:34 AM

Wonder why number 8 is LAST on the list when it should be FIRST ???

Jayla Barnett May 09, 2013 | 2:14 AM

This was so helpful!!!

s. williams December 29, 2012 | 3:20 PM

Eighty percentage of men are users......even while married to you. Women have to keep their emotions more in check.

Sara December 25, 2012 | 4:10 PM

All of this is so true...

autumn_maria October 04, 2012 | 12:01 PM

Wow..the heartless are always preying on the hearts of others! The only way to deal with this is to set up the boundaries right away before they get out of hand..this way you can weed out who just doesn't make the cut, This way you won't be as gullible if you stick to the boundaries you make before dating until the person has proved themselves trustworthy and you avoid being hurt as much in the future;-))

chris60 September 03, 2012 | 5:53 PM

These signs are useful indicators for both men and women to decide whether to take a relationship seriously or not. Do not be fooled that you can change him or her. Another good indicator is that he will talk about his ex and how much he missed her or hated her... Either way you are just being used as a rebound until he or she gets his or her act together and decides to learn more about you. No point competing with a ghost... The texts and ualised talk also suggests that is the way they attain intimacy. Shallow and self-gratifying, but all they can cope with or they risk being hurt if they open their hearts and are emotionally naked. Safer to stay home and read a good book unless you want a physical workout and can keep your emotions in check.

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