They lazily spend their days loafing around the house. Their only required task is taking a few trips to the water bowl.
When you pack your lunch, grab your keys and head out the door, your dog is likely perplexed about the whole situation, so he has to make up his own theories about how you're spending all of your time. Here are eight things your dog probably thinks you're doing when you're at your day job.
"What if she got lost? She can't smell things as good as I can... she probably got lost. I tell her all the time to call the house phone so I can bark at it when it rings. I'm staring at the phone. It's. Not. Ringing. I'm just going to pace back and forth in front of the door until she gets back."
"She better not even think about coming through that door without a new toy. I've been throwing this sock around for a month now, and it's unacceptable. I will boycott going to the bathroom outside if there is not a new plaything in her shopping bag when she gets home."
"She said she 'had to run.' Run where? Why wouldn't she drive? Running is so exhausting, so I'm not sure how she's possibly doing it for such a long time. I'm going to cuddle up with my favorite blanket and take a nap."
"I know she told me that I was the only man in her life, but I don't buy it. She's playing me. The way her hair is disheveled when she walks in the door, the runner in her new floral tights, the way she won't stop texting on her phone... there's got to be someone else. We'll see who wins when he shows up on my turf."
"I don't even know why she'd leave the house if she wasn't shopping for a tasty treat. I hope it's food. Come on food. Food food food food."
"Hello? 9-1-1? I have an emergency to report. The scary man in the white lab coat kidnapped my mother. No, I don't have any proof, but one time he smiled at her and then pricked me with a horrible needle. He's obviously a very bad man and she hasn't been home in hours. Can't you help?"
"Wait a minute, what is that? I've never seen that briefcase before. And it didn't taste like the other bags I chewed up. What could be in there? Secret codes! And those sunglasses... they were new, too. They must be spyglasses. My mom is so cool."
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