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Weird Toys You Didn’t Know Existed

Lindsey Hunter Lopez is a freelance writer and general mother hustler with degrees from University of California, Santa Cruz and New York University. Lindsey resides in Northeast Los Angeles with her husband, bulldog, and two hilarious p...

#1/19:

Happy bizarre holidays to all

Images: Target, Amazon, Toys R Us, Getty/Design: Ashley Britton/SheKnows
#1/19:

Happy bizarre holidays to all

They sell what? It does what? That’s what you’re about to ask yourself when you see these odd and hilarious toys. If you haven’t yet encountered these head-scratchers, you're in for a shock — and a good laugh. And if your kid catches a glimpse of them, you might be whined into purchasing a few. From dolls that poop weird colors and shapes to a bathroom piano keyboard (?!?) to a game about tasting mystery liquids, we found all the strangest toys on the market and rounded them up in one alarming slideshow.

Because you know what? Kids are weird. And apparently, they love unicorns and poop. If your little rascals want to spend their hard-earned allowance or waste a wishlist spot on some squishy foot beads or a Weird Al action figure, who are we to judge? So put that edible parasite kit into your Amazon cart and order away. (Just don’t get the Enchantimals. You’ll see.)

#3/19:

Poopin’ noodles

#3/19:

Poopin’ noodles

This baby doll poops noodles. It’s true. Feed her the squishy faux food, and watch it come right out the other end. And this Baby Alive doesn’t just poop toy noodles; she also has over 20 sounds and phrases in her repertoire. Like I said, kids are gross.

Baby Alive Super Snacks Snackin’ Noodles Baby, $39.99 at Hasbro Toy Shop

#4/19:

DIY zombie parasites

#4/19:

DIY zombie parasites

The only thing more fun for kids than parasites may well be... making their own parasites! And the kicker: These creepy-crawlies are edible. I know. Your li'l deranged scientist can create gross bugs with a lab station that includes everything needed to make parasite gummy candies. Oh, and these parasites are zombies too, naturally.

Dr. Dreadful Zombies Parasite Lab, $9.99 at Target

#5/19:

Squishy foot beads

#5/19:

Squishy foot beads

Your little one can stick his or her tired tootsies into a relaxing container of gooey little balls with this fun set. You can even warm the balls, which grow when water is added. Because that’s not weird. OK, it’s sort of weird. But maybe also squishy and satisfying? The spa is big enough for adult feet; do with that information what you will.

Orbeez Spa Ultimate Soothing Spa, $34.95 at Maya Toys

#6/19:

Win fart tokens

#6/19:

Win fart tokens

This is a game about dog poop. Yes, really. Feed the dog until he makes “gassy sounds” and plops out a poo. Players get fart tokens if they clean up the mess, and the kid who collects the most fart tokens wins the game. Fart tokens. Fart. Tokens.

Doggie Doo, $14.99 at Target

#7/19:

Human-animal hybrids

#7/19:

Human-animal hybrids

These human-animal hybrid dolls freak me out. Let’s just skip this slide, pretend you never saw these ungodly creatures. Look away!

Enchantimals Bree Bunny, $7.94 at Amazon

#8/19:

Play-Doh teeth

#8/19:

Play-Doh teeth

Mold Play-Doh teeth, stick them in your patient’s mouth and then go to town with the included instruments. Children can practice for dental school with this... interesting play set. Kids love playing with pretend teeth, right? No?

Play-Doh Doctor Drill ’n Fill, $14.99 at Hasbro Toy Shop

#9/19:

Potty surprise

#9/19:

Potty surprise

This Lalaloopsy doll poops different shapes! If you’re not creeped out by her giant black button eyes, you will be by her multicolored bowel movements. Sorry, I mean her “potty surprise.” And if colorful dough BMs aren’t quite exciting enough, Lalaloopsy Diaper Surprise also poops out charms. And there you have it.

Lalaloopsy Potty Surprise, $29.98 at Amazon

#10/19:

Savage stuffed animals

#10/19:

Savage stuffed animals

Feisty Pets stuffed animals go from cute to vicious with a squeeze behind the ears. You may recognize Glenda Glitterpoop the unicorn from her viral video wherein she shocks a baby with her horrifying transformation.

Feisty Pets Glenda Glitterpoop, $40.28 at Amazon

#11/19:

Mystery liquid extravaganza

#11/19:

Mystery liquid extravaganza

The object of this game is to drink random liquid concoctions and see if they taste disgusting. (Spoiler: They do.) Take six ingredients and fill the included cups. Then the spinner will determine what gets mixed and who drinks what. Good times!

Pour Taste, $19.99 at Hasbro Toy Shop

#12/19:

Cats! Cats! Cats!

#12/19:

Cats! Cats! Cats!

This game’s furry box hints at what’s to come: a rousing guessing game featuring cat-centric questions. To play The Cat Game, simply illustrate clues for your partner to guess. The catch? You must include a cat cut-out in every drawing. Fur will fly.

The Cat Game, $19.99 at Target

#13/19:

Grow a squishy character

#13/19:

Grow a squishy character

Pop, mix and squirt the special yolk-looking color mixture into a plastic egg — it grows overnight and becomes a surprise Smooshins figure. Confused? We are too. But admit it. You want to see how this works. The starter kit makes two characters.

Smooshins Surprise Maker Kit, $39.99 at Little Tikes

#14/19:

Lil’ Weird Al

#14/19:

Lil’ Weird Al

Yep, "weird" is in the name for this one. Who knew "Weird Al" Yankovic was popular enough (still) among children that he gets his own toy? This “White and Nerdy” action figure says it all.

"Weird Al" Yankovic White and Nerdy action figure, $29.99 at Toys R Us

#15/19:

Toilet sound machine

#15/19:

Toilet sound machine

This character from the Captain Underpants books is a talking, toilet-shaped toy that provides belching, farting and vomiting noises for your kids’ amusement. Y tho? 

Captain Underpants Talking Toilet, $5.99 at Target

#16/19:

Edible rainbow poo

#16/19:

Edible rainbow poo

Back in my day, we used a wholesome old-fashioned Snoopy Sno-cone maker and we liked it, damn it. Apparently, kids today enjoy pretending their frozen treats are the bowel movements of mythical creatures.

Unicone Rainbow Swirl Maker, $14.99 at Toys R Us

#17/19:

Chewbacca chair

#17/19:

Chewbacca chair

Kids can relax on a Chewbacca chair that’s reminiscent of the fuzzy Star Wars creature. The weirdest part is that this item is not shaped like a Wookiee; it’s shaped like a chair. But it’s furry, and it’s wearing Chewbacca’s bandolier. So it’s like a chair dressed up as a Wookiee? We’re overthinking this. Just buy the damn chair.

Star Wars Chewbacca upholstered chair, $38.98 at Toys R Us

#18/19:

Flying Spider-Man ball

#18/19:

Flying Spider-Man ball

This weird toy is a flying "UFO" ball with Spider-Man’s face on it. Does it make sense? Not at all.

Spider-Man Heli Ball, $14.95 at HobbyTron

#19/19:

Potty piano

#19/19:

Potty piano

Is your little Mozart wasting precious time pooping? Perhaps you could add a musical component to your child’s bathroom time. Enter the Potty Piano. We don't get it either.

BigMouth Potty Piano, $17.99 at Amazon

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