Somewhere in my 30s I found myself comfortably settled into my career, feeling like I had finally got it all together. Then, I had children. Having kids not only taught me that I still had so much to learn about life, love, relationships and motherhood — my kids had a lesson or two to teach me about business too!
Lesson learned: Not on their time. Since I work in public relations, where time is billed by the hour, I’ve always been mindful of what an hour of my time is perceived to be worth on paper. Now, as a parent, I value my time differently. I've learned that every hour is precious and that no amount of money in the world can replace an uninterrupted hour with them. I’ve learned to choose my projects more wisely and be more mindful of the workload I take on. I’ve discovered that while an extra hour or two of overtime might make a dent in a project, it’s rarely worth taking away the few hours I have with my kids at night before bedtime. While it takes some routine-shifting and a lot more coffee, instead of working on their time, I get up early and knock out work while they’re still sleeping.
Lesson learned: Not their problem. When you add the pressures of work and deadlines to the already-stressful job of parenting, patience can run incredibly thin. I’ll admit that I’ve lost it when I've had kids tugging on each leg, toys flying in every direction and clients calling for deliverables on deadlines. Sometimes it feels like a super-human balancing act, but what I’ve learned is that what I choose to take on is not my kids’ fault… nor should it be their problem. The first time I heard myself actually say, ”Mommy's on a deadline!,” I realized the weight of my stressful world should never be on their little shoulders, even when our two worlds often collide since I have a home office. I’ve also learned the value of deep breaths, stepping away and putting problems into perspective. If no one will spontaneously combust if I wait five minutes to return a work call, stopping to give one of my kids a minute of my uninterrupted attention not only validates for them how important they are to me, it allows me some time to gather myself and get perspective on whatever work issue I’m tackling.
Lesson learned: My hard work pays off for their future later. Before I was married and had kids, salary was a number. Now that my career supports my family, that salary has become our lifeline. As a parent, I’m more determined than ever to be successful — not just for the sake of chalking up career wins, but to build a better life for my kids and give them opportunities I watched my mom have to work two and three jobs for. While it may mean starting my day at 6 a.m. or sacrificing some me time, if I can be half the example of hard work and perseverance for my kids that my mom was to me when I was growing up, it will all have been worth it!
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