5 "Tools" For
First-Time Fathers

Congratulations, you're a dad! Are you equipped with the tools you need to take care of your new baby?

Dad with infant daughter

You need a hammer to pound a nail and a wrench to tighten a bolt — you know how to handle your tools. Unfortunately, none of those workshop gadgets are going to help you raise your infant.

Now that you're a dad, you may find that you need some new "tools." The Dad Man, Joe Kelly, a best-selling fathering author and speaker, has rounded up the tools you need to tend to your newborn.

Tool #1: Flexibility

If you're one of those guys who likes a routine, then you may have to step out of your comfort zone for a while. Babies, especially the really young, don't really give a hoot about your schedule. You have to change your patterns — your baby's too young to adjust hers.

"Stay flexible," advises Kelly. "As your baby's physical and sensory development accelerates, her natural schedule will change. You will have to adjust (and sometime revamp) the routine. This is normal and healthy, even if maddening. Roll with it."

Tool #2: Good hands

Your newborn isn't breakable, but he is delicate. Finding a comfortable "hold" will soothe and relax both you and the baby.

"Try the 'squirmy football hold,'" suggests Kelly. "Place the baby's head in the crook of your elbow, hold him close to your body (like a pigskin) and support his butt and upper legs with your hand." It's a great way for you and your child to make face-to-face contact.

Kelly warns, "Do not attempt to leap over or head-butt defensive linemen with baby in tow."

baby bottleTool #3: Food

Think about how cranky you get when you're hungry. Your baby doesn't like the feeling either, so do your part to make sure she's fed.

"Even if Mom breast-feeds, take your turn to bottle feed," says Kelly. "Your baby needs the experience of being nourished — physically and emotionally — by both Mom and Dad."

Tool #4: Resilience

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. You're learning right along with your baby, and you will face parenting challenges. Do what works for you — no matter what the books or anyone else may say.

"Your baby can't learn to walk without tumbling, and you and Mom learn effective parenting by trial and error, too," says Kelly. "If you find something that works, then do it. Don't listen to those who say you're doing it wrong just because it's different. Kids benefit from difference!"

Tool #5: Fortitude

"Remember that baby isn't out to get you," explains Kelly. "She's working from the most basic instincts, like the need for warmth, food, sleep and clean diapers. She has no free will yet, so she's not acting this way to annoy you.

"You can’t spoil a baby — or discipline one, either. Work on that stuff next year, when the baby is developmentally ready." There is an entirely new set of tools for each of your child's stages of life!

Look for Kelly's new book, The Complete Idiot's Guide to Being a New Dad, in spring 2013.

Read more helpful tips for Dad

How to rock a baby sling like a real man
Daddy day care essentials
Dad's handbook to common kid disasters

Tags: daddy tips

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Comments

Comments on "New dad's toolbox: What you really need"

Jenny September 20, 2012 | 12:52 PM

I think it's really important to remember that it's okay to fail with your baby. It's alright to get things wrong. There's so many books and people out there trying to sell you The Way To Raise Your Baby, but it's all about learning your baby's needs.

Lauren September 16, 2012 | 2:09 PM

Great advice! I like the last tip about remembering the baby is not out to get you. They are just trying to survive and learn about what to do and how to function. My husband thinks our baby poops too much, haha, but it's not like we can control that!

Lauren September 16, 2012 | 2:09 PM

Great advice! I like the last tip about remembering the baby is not out to get you. They are just trying to survive and learn about what to do and how to function. My husband thinks our baby poops too much, haha, but it's not like we can control that!

Jackie September 14, 2012 | 7:10 AM

Really good, practical advice... just what baby needs.

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