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Sharing a miscarriage on Facebook: Yay or nay?

Monica Beyer is a mom of four and has been writing professionally since 2000, when her first book, Baby Talk, was published. Her main area of interest is attachment parenting and all that goes with it, including breastfeeding, co-sleepin...

Finding support or grieving privately

Facebook is all about sharing, but how much do you feel comfortable with? If you announce your pregnancy early on, you will need to decide what to do if your pregnancy ends in a miscarriage.


Do you want the support from your friends and family, or do you prefer to keep your pregnancy private, at least in the beginning? Read on to find out the pros and cons.

Happily announcing a pregnancy is a moment many moms can't wait for. And adding 500 of your closest friends via Facebook makes a party out of what used to be a few phone calls in the old days. Deciding to share your news early, however, carries a bit of a risk along with it. What happens if you have a miscarriage?

Sharing it all, gathering support

Many moms love and appreciate all the support they can get. Even with the risk of miscarriage, many we spoke with shared their pregnancy news as soon as they could. "I shared right away with all of my pregnancies," says Vyky, mom of two. "I want to have support from the get-go from my family and friends. No one should have to suffer miscarriage and pregnancy loss alone. It's a terrible thing to have to go through."

Tayla from Canada agreed. "I think there's still a stigma surrounding miscarriage, so some people may find it offensive or unsettling if someone announces their loss on Facebook," she shares. "I believe this stems from our discomfort with death in general. However, I think that if it's all right for someone to express their happiness over a pregnancy, it's perfectly all right for them to express their sadness over the loss of that pregnancy."

Ashley also would rather share and get support than not. "I've never had a miscarriage, but if I did I would rather people know and acknowledge him/her," she tells SheKnows.

Privacy is paramount

Other moms didn't want to share their pregnancy news early on. "After having a terrible miscarriage experience at four months a long time ago, I was really afraid to tell anyone online about this baby," says Meagan from Vermont. "I was terrified I'd lose him and have to explain."

Amanda from Oregon had similar feelings. "I had a miscarriage when I was 9 weeks and I hadn't told many people," she reports. "So when I got pregnant with Gwen, I waited until I was 13 weeks to put it on Facebook. Only close friends and family knew before. Going through that miscarriage was hard and I was glad I didn't have a bunch of people who weren't close to me hound me about it. I just hate the looks and it makes me feel worse for longer."

The same goes for Charlene, mom of two. "I was too nervous to say anything before because I wouldn't have wanted everyone to know I had a miscarriage if I did," she told us. "I guess I just wouldn't have wanted their sympathy."

Would you, or wouldn't you?

It's a hard decision to make. Some want support for their news, no matter whether it's happy or sad, and others choose to keep this part of their lives totally private. There is no right answer -- you have to do what feels right.

Tell us

Would you share a miscarriage on social networks like Facebook? Have you?

More on miscarriages and pregnancy loss

Michelle Duggar: Letting miscarriage happen naturally
Love after pregnancy loss
Bethenny Frankel: I had a miscarriage

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