How my mother's gift changed my life

Every time Sapna Singh, 36, looks at her beautiful 5-year-old son, she thinks about how her mother's selfless act allowed her to experience the true joy of motherhood.

"My mom Story

By Sapna Singh
as told to Julie Weingarden Dubin

Since I was young, I wanted kids. I had to be a mother. I was diagnosed with lupus and a blood clotting disorder in 1999 and I knew having a child might not be easy for me, but I was up for the challenge.

After trying for three years and suffering several miscarriages, I felt like giving up. I couldn't share my heartache with others because I didn't want people feeling sorry for me. The only people who gave me hope were my husband, Sonny, and my mother.

After I suffered my last miscarriage in August of 2005, my mom said she wanted me to stop trying. Instead, she'd be my gestational surrogate. At first this sounded like the strangest thing to me.

"I'd never be able to feel my baby kick inside me or see my growing belly."

It was hard for me to come to terms with not being able to carry my own child. I felt like a failure. I'd never be able to feel my baby kick inside me or see my growing belly. But then I thought, "Does carrying a child really make you a mother?" No. It's all the ups and downs of raising a child that makes you a parent. Here was an opportunity for me to possibly become a mother. After thinking it over for the rest of the year, my husband and I decided to take my mom up on the offer.

We're pregnant

In January of 2006, my mom went through a battery of tests and the doctor told us that at age 54, my mother was a better candidate to carry my child than I was. My mom received hormone shots to reverse her menopause and thanks to in vitro fertilization (IVF), two embryos were implanted in her uterus.

After a blood test confirmed her pregnancy, I called my husband with the news. "We're pregnant!" He was speechless.

The ultrasounds looked perfect and in April we found out we were having a boy. The baby was conceived with my egg and my husband's sperm, so he was our biological child.

A Mother's Devotion

Our son, Syrus, was born perfectly healthy one month early through a caesarean section. I filmed the whole birth through my tears. I was the first one to hold my gorgeous dark-haired baby and I'll never forget that moment.

Syrus, now 5, is close to his grandmother -- my courageous and beautiful mother. I'm so proud to be her daughter. She made a tremendous sacrifice out of love just to see me happy. My mom has given me the gift of life and for that I am truly the luckiest woman alive.

Thankfully, we received more good fortune. We had twin boys 22 months ago through a different surrogate -- our cousin -- and now we juggle three kids under the age of five. It's busy but I'm grateful and I love every minute of being a mom.

Mom Wisdom

Don't gamble with your health. Understand that life doesn't always go according to your initial plan and that's fine. Be open-minded and let people help you.

Read more on surrogacy and fertility treatments

Elizabeth Banks on infertility struggle and choosing surrogacy
Nicole Kidman talks about surrogacy decision
More fertility treatments are not always better

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Comments

Comments on "Mom story: My mom was my surrogate"

edwina scalzi May 27, 2013 | 9:30 AM

My daughter has Lupus. Can not have childred. I would like to be a surrogate mother for her. How do I go about this. I have no idea where to start. If anyone can help it would be appreciated. Thank you..

Ranter December 17, 2012 | 3:49 AM

Babies bond with their mother inside the room, and YES carrying children is a critical part to being a mom, this is where the bonding happens. The baby gets use to its mother durring the 3 months its inside the womb, her touch her feel, her smell her vioce and presence. And when the baby is born, se will immediately want to be held by her surrogate, the only person the baby knows best. Y

Colleen March 04, 2012 | 9:11 PM

What a story. Two incredibly strong women. I'm so glad to hear family came first here. :)

Karishma Tejwani March 03, 2012 | 1:39 PM

just like Grey's Anatomy... instant tears. I love you guys. Best family ever :)

Susan L March 02, 2012 | 2:01 AM

What an inspiring story!..that goes beyond the relm of being a Mother!

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