6 Benefits of co-sleeping with your children

Feb 24, 2012 12:00 PM by Naomi de la Torre

Posted in Parenting / Parenting Tips & Advice / Mom & Dad

Fall in Love with the Family Bed

Although popular media has worked hard to put a negative spin on co-sleeping, scientific evidence proves otherwise. Co-sleeping has innumerable benefits for everyone in the family. Learn more about the benefits of co-sleeping with your children.

Benefits at a glance: increased self-esteem, experience less behavioral problems, are less prone to peer pressure and report more happiness and general satisfaction with life

Encourages independence

While it is commonly believed that co-sleeping will create clingy, dependent children, research proves that the opposite is true. Children who share sleep with their parents develop independence earlier and need less transitional objects because they do not experience separation anxiety. "When a child routinely goes to sleep in the presence of an adult, or with an adult holding her, it's extremely rare to find thumb sucking or attachment to security objects," explains Dr. Jay Gordon, author of Good Nights: The Happy Parents' Guide to the Family Bed.

Builds self esteem

Children who have grown up in a family bed have increased self-esteem, experience less behavioral problems, are less prone to peer pressure and report more happiness and general satisfaction with life. They are less likely to suffer from stress disorders than children who did not share sleep with their parents.

Promotes physical and mental well-being

In addition to psychological benefits, babies who co-sleep appear to thrive better.

Parenting expert and pediatrician Dr. William Sears explains, "Over the past thirty years of observing sleep-sharing families in our pediatric practice, we have noticed one medical benefit that stands out; these babies thrive. 'Thriving' means not only getting bigger, but also growing to your full potential, emotionally, physically and intellectually. Perhaps it's the extra touch that stimulates development, or perhaps the extra feedings (yes, sleep-sharing infants breastfeed more often than solo sleepers)."

Reduces risk of stress disorders and SIDS

In his years of research on co-sleeping, Harvard psychiatrist Michael Commons has discovered that babies who sleep alone are at increased risk for SIDS and stress disorders. Co-sleeping babies sleep in physiological harmony with their mothers. The proximity of the mother and infant actually regulates the infant's breathing, sleep state, arousal patterns, heart rates and body temperature. Babies who are left to cry alone experience elevated levels of the stress hormone cortisol, which causes damage to the developing brain. "It makes you more prone to the effects of stress, more prone to illness, including mental illness and makes it harder to recover from illness," explains Commons.

Easier for nursing moms

Nursing moms who co-sleep with their babies report feeling better rested. Because they do not have to leave the bed to nurse, their sleep patterns are less disturbed and they feel more alert and focused during the daytime.

Promotes family closeness

Children raised in the family bed lifestyle develop close bonds with their family and report more feelings of connectedness and happiness than children who sleep alone. Sleeping together provides more hours in each day for family members to connect and share loving, nurturing moments under the sweet breath of sleep.

Interested in sharing sleep with your children? Make sure to follow safe co-sleeping practices. >>

More on co-sleeping

Tips for safe co-sleeping
Co-sleeping: The equivalent of putting your baby to bed with a butcher knife?
Twin co-sleeping deaths: Who is responsible?

Tags: attachment parenting sleep and babies

Comments

Comments on "6 Benefits of co-sleeping with your children"

I was raised in Asia--it is very common to co-sleep with parents there and it is something they still do. My parents did the same and it brought us closer. I am very close to my mother and yet--I am very independent and fearless. I have a 3 year old now and he sleeps in our bed. We would not have it any other way. Intimacy with our spouse is just as important but where there is a will, there is a way. He will grow out of it but until then, he knows that he is loved. He is a very independent boy-does many things on his own and refuses any help.

My former "co-sleepers" are now 11 and 14 and are truly amazing, well adjusted, independent thinkers who excel in school and their interpersonal friendships. I honestly believe that the only "statistics" anyone should be looking at are your own. It worked for us and we are a close family because of it. My kids are confident and strong and each have a good sense of humor and I know in my heart it's because we had a co sleeping bed. Google Dr. Sears and get his take on it...

We are all entitled to our opinions and the research is often conflicting on vaccines and on SIDS. Every family makes their own rules. We start our kids off in their own beds and at some stage they join us. We love it. When they were babies they slept in bassinettes beside us. Having spent much time in Asia we knew most people didn't have the luxury of a second bedroom. So is this dilema just for the western world? Make your own decisions and stop judging others.

I have to say I completely disagree with this article and have seen actual research that is the complete opposite. This article talks about "research" but doesn't mention the study. I have a 4 year old and she doesn't suck her thumb or have a security blanket to cling to and also doesn't have anxiety issues. She sleeps in her bed every night and the rare occasions when she's had a really bad dream or sick she will sleep with us. Children that wake up during the night and are able to put themselves back to sleep are more confident and have higher self esteem. And as for more "family bonding time", please you need to be making extra time during the day. What about the intimacy between you and your spouse? I guess that's not important either.

My son is 4 months old and we do a bit of both. He starts in his crib but later in the night when he wakes up to breastfeed, he comes into bed with us. My husband and I both love it (for now at least). I love it b/c it makes breastfeeding and resting MUCH easier. Side-lying is a wonderful way to nurse. Now if you are REALLY overweight, I wouldn't recommend co-sleeping b/c it becomes more dangerous. At first I would dream I was smothering him and couldn't sleep very deeply, but it feel so natural now. Especially as he's grown bigger, it doesn't feel so dangerous. We are careful with covers and to keep pillows away from him. My husband enjoys the sweet time cuddling with his son, especially since he doesn't get to be with him as much as I do. Once he is able to roll over, I'm not sure how we will deal with co-sleeping. For now, it feels right. And every morning I feel rested.. He wakes up so happy each morning, talking and laughing.. he wakes us both up and together we enjoy the sweet time~!

You might want to do some research on SIDs. I found that the Japanese did a study on vaccines since they suspected this was what was causing the babies too loose their breath at night. They were right. They stopped giving the vaccines to babies & cases went down to zero deaths. They started giving vaccines at age 6 instead. The saddest part to me is that these mothers were made to believe that they killed their babies while all along it was these foreign vaccines that were forced onto their babies.

As a former CPS case worker, I have witnessed suffocations deaths of babies and really cannot believe the irresponsibility of this article either. Yes, you CAN sleep safely with your baby, but MOST new parents whom I have ever been acquainted with cannot afford the separator to add structure around the infant, and also a lot of parents of new babies are tired think that this won't happen to them. Many years ago, my next door neighbor and friend was a mortician. He would stop by to visit my husband, and if I even dozed on the sofa with our infant, he would get so mad. He said that almost ALL of their infant mortality cases were due to the mother accidently suffocating their babies while sleeping.

This author has irresponsibly used the terms co-sleeping and bed-sharing interchangeably.....but they are NOT the same thing. Both have different risks and benefits. Co-sleeping is sleeping with the child in the same room....not the same bed. Having the child in the same room reduces the risk for SIDS. Bed sharing is sleeping with the child in the same bed. Bed-sharing increases the risk for SIDS. Refer to the American Academy of Pediatrics.

Samantha. You say too many have suffocated their children. However, it mentions that SIDS reduces a lot when co-sleeping. SIDS kills so many more every day

There have been FAR too many children suffocated by a parent rolling onto them or pillows/blankets covering their faces for me to EVER think co-sleeping is a good thing. I LOVE cuddling with my daughter & have accidentally fallen asleep with her many times, but never in my bed. She loves to take naps curled up with me on the couch, but I usually stay awake just to be safe. She's 2 now & is far too big for me to roll onto, but she still doesn't sleep in my bed. She loves her crib & usually wakes up laughing & wants to stay in her crib & play for a few minutes. We've had a video monitor on her every night she's ever slept in her own room which helped calm my anxiety a lot when she was a newborn. I only keep it on now because it's easier to be able to see if she's actually awake or just making noise in her sleep. She's a great sleeper & can fall asleep pretty much anywhere. She's still very loving & I still get plenty of cuddle time. In my opinion, co-sleeping is too dangerous. My mom knows a guy who rolled onto his newborn daughter & suffocated her. He later attempted suicide. To me, it's not worth risking my child's life. Nor it is worth losing my adult time with my SO!

I know this article is older, but we co sleep in our family, we have right from the start. Our children are 4 and 5 years old and do have their own rooms. Our 4 year old is very independent while our 5 year old is a little more dependent on family together time. We have a 4th bedroom set up as a guest room so on the nites when the kids want to sleep in our bed such as when they are sick or if i need to deep clean the house, i let them fall asleep in our bed and my husband uses the guest room. If we want to be intimate, we use the guest room on those nites or since our kids still take naps sometimes on the weekends, we use nap time since they will sleep for 2 to 3 hours in their beds. co sleeping is a great bonding time for all of us. their father works 12 pm to 1 am and usually isnt up until 10 am so our son doesnt get to see him except on weekends unless he climbs into our bed in the middle of the nite. So weekends is family slumber party and we all hang out in our master bedroom in our jammies and have a movie and popcorn party. We also have a small children's fold out sofa for these events so one of the kids sleeps there, usually our daughter as she loves the couch and our son sleeps in bed with us.

I have a four year old daughter and from day 1 she slept with me. Her father is a fireman, that drives the engine. WE decided it was best for us for her to sleep with me in the nursery. I breastfed her as well. She still sleeps in bed with me and it is our choice that we made. She is not clingy, very independent. She is very loving and we love snuggling on the weekends when we can sleep in. Im not judging others because I do not have to power or the right to judge. Either way you choose Im sure you are making the right decision for your family. Happy Sleeping, Either way:)

Maybe the benefits of co-sleeping are exaggerated here but after reading some of the comments which have been made i am shocked that some people can have such strong views against it so far as to say its 'selfish and twisted'. I think that every parent has the right to choose how they wish to bring up their children and as long as they love their children and their children are happy why does it matter so much about which bed/bedroom they sleep in?

I guess I am a horrible person for making my 7 month old sleep in her own crib. My opinion of the matter is based on the fact that I want my night to be spent with my husband. If my daughter was in the bed we would lose the intimacy time we need. I believe that the reason most people don't lay their baby in their own bed is simply because its hard to get them to sleep alone. It is far easier to give in and to accept them into your bed. I also believe there is a certain amount of guilt that the parents have because they are working and don't have the proper time for their children. I love my daughter dearly but from what I have seen nothing good comes from sleeping with your kids. Independence and self esteem come from good parenting and time with your kids. Not putting them in your bed.

Shame on this author. Bed sharing does NOT decrease the incedence of SIDS. Room sharing, without bed sharing, reduces the risk. Bed sharing is considered a significant risk factor for SIDS. The definition of co-sleeping is room sharing, not bed sharing. Here is the reccomendation from the American Acadamy of Pediatrics: http://pediatrics.aappublications/content/128/5/e1341.full

I co-sleep With my 2yr old. I work full time days my husband works full time nights and so it's no bother. The every other weekend he gets off I put my son in his bed where he makes it about half the night.. Sometimes. Yes sometimes my husband gets irritated. But he understands the time I spend away from my baby our co sleep arrangement gives him his security and he needs the one on one time. He just wants to know I'm there for him. And he will reach over every so often to check on me. It's rather cute.

My 9 year old daughter has always slept with me. She is extremely well-adjusted and independent. I have no problems with it. She falls asleep easily and can sleep over with friends with no issues. I find that alot of our bonding and cuddling take place them. I love it and she loves it. She has her own bedroom and will often spend time there, but likes to sleep with me. I say to each his/her own. Every child and family dymanic is different.

My husband and I slept with all three of our children until they were ready to go ...each was around 8 or so - these kids were great students, very social, never got in one ounce of trouble and are now very happy productive 27, 29 and 31 year olds with their own lives. This makes the family exceptionally close and the children very secure. I'm 60 yrs old now and back then people thought it was wrong and even caused sids. Best parenting move we ever made.

Oh please....I can be a good parent, raise a independent child with good self-esteem, and not place that child in my bed. it is dangerous, it has a potential of so many detrimental effects, not to mention strain on the marital bed...what is the matter with this??

My son slept in my bed for the first 9 years until my Mom passed away. Then he had his Nanny's big bed and finally felt comfortable sleeping in his own bed. My husband left our bedroom when he was an infant because he had to work and wasn't going to sleep with a crying baby in the room. So, I tried the bassisnet, the crib, the day crib and nothing worked. I left him to cry one night in his crib for maybe 10 minutes and I couldn't take it. When I went into his room he was on the mattress covered in his own vomit and I just picked him up, gave him a bath, put him in my bed and said "f u Dr. Spock". I made the right decision. My son is now going to college, National Honor Society student and very loving young man. I think it gave him immense security and I never had to worry about someone coming into my house and snatching him because he was right there, my pillow prince.