Should Everyone Know You're Trying?
It's baby time! Does your mother, your sister, your best friend and every last one of your co-workers know you're trying to get pregnant? Or do you wait to share the news until there's a baby on board?
Mommies facing off this week
You've decided it's time to try for a baby!
You're so excited that it's all you can think about.
You're beginning to chart your ovulation cycles and preparing to buy some pregnancy tests.
Question: Do you tell people you're trying for a baby?
When we first started trying for a baby back in January of 2004, I told everybody. I mean, I'm not kidding -- anyone that would listen, I told.
It's now kind of embarrassing to admit, but my whole office at work knew my ovulation cycle! That being said, there were about 10 other women trying to get pregnant at the same time and we all told each other everything. I actually ended up getting pregnant the very first month we tried back in January of 2004, but the first test I took was a false negative. I remember going to work that next morning so upset and so defeated. Everyone knew that it was my "turn" to test and everyone was trying to make me feel better about it by saying, "You'll try next month!" Believe me, it didn't make it any easier.
When I still hadn't gotten my period a week later, I retested and was incredibly excited to see two lines. I was pregnant! I went on to have three more babies. With the next two, like my first, I told everyone. I mean, my grandmother knew. My husband wasn't too happy that everyone knew, but I felt the more people that knew, the more positive baby vibes we'd get -- that was my logic.
With our youngest, he was the surprise of our life! I didn't have to tell anyone, but I'll tell you this: people were shocked to hear about a fourth baby in three years for us!
When my husband and I decided to try to get pregnant, we decided to not tell anyone we were trying. In fact, we agreed we would not tell anyone at all until after the three month mark.
My husband is an academic and deals with statistics on a daily basis. The data showing the percentage of miscarriages in the first trimester freaked us out a bit, so we made the decision not to tell. It was definitely hard keeping it from my family because I am so close with them. They actually came out to visit us in California over Thanksgiving and we took them wine tasting in Napa. I pretended to drink some wine so they would not suspect I was pregnant.
We finally broke the news Christmas morning. We gave my mom "Granny" smith apples, an "Uncle" Cracker CD for my brother, an "Auntie" Annie's Pretzels mug for my sister and a knee brace for my dad (because he said he would have a knee replacement if we ever had a baby). We asked them what they thought their gifts had in common. They looked around at each other. Finally my sister got it. She yelled, "You're pregnant!" It was fun! It was hard to keep a secret, but fun revealing it!
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